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Hello everyone. So not even sure if I'm posting on right for

[910]

Hello everyone. So not even sure if I'm posting on right forum, but here goes. I was blindsided by infedelity in my marriage back in 2014. Since then its been a rough road. Stayed in the marriage. My biggest reason was 3 girls. Call it cliche or fear but I owe it to them to give them a chance to upbringing with both parents. In my opinion its a broken system, more than likely wouldn't have gotten custody and felt I'd have more involvement if i stayed in marriage. So anyways. She appears to be remorseful and doing all she can but my big issues is actually with myself. Keeping the negative thoughts at bay, the spark or magic seems gone. Constant fear of it happening again. Not the actually action but the possibility of not catching it sooner. Sometimes I'd rather she would've chosen the other guy but at least it would be been done with. I hate the feeling that she's using my or still playing me. I'm currently out of town for work since the event I've been Trying to beef up resume to be able to relocate because the town wete in is so small its uncomfortable not to mention he lives down the street and his daughters is friends with mine. I keep thingscivil for the sake of kids not being affected. Besides its not the kids faults. So anyways im gone now and during the week it seems like shes always out and about constantly over with girlfriends. Stuff she never does when I'm around. And its not like partying or anything. But it makes me feel off. I,dont,know if its just my insecurities triggered by event

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[1350]
May 18

Your fears are totally valid, she betrayed your trust and you are not totally healed yet and that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up for worrying or having negative thoughts, while you can’t state in that mind frame for long periods of time, ignoring it won’t help either. She clearly has work to do, it is her job to help you heal and her job to reassure you no matter how long it’s been. I would be upfront with her about how you feel and she should understand and work to help you feel better. So sorry to hear you’re going through this, it’s so difficult especially when kiddos are involved.

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[355]
May 18

I am sorry you are going through this. I can understand why you would be feeling this way after all you have been through. Unfortunately, I think it is normal for our minds to spiral out of control, turning innocent situations in to something they are not. Did you seek counseling after all of this happened? I just think counseling may be a good place to get all these emotions out in the open with someone to mediate, and help both of you understand what is holding you back. You say your wife has been transparent and remorseful, maybe (like someone said earlier) the reason she stays home when you are there is because she wants to spend time with you. Mending these types of wounds can be difficult but not impossible. It sounds like you have taken the necessary steps to make your marriage work and I give you so much credit for this. It wasn't long ago I was reading about al and lisa robinson and their journey from infidelity to a marriage that is stronger than it has ever been. It just seems that the key is communication. I pray you are able to communicate your feelings to your wife, and if not on your own, then with the help of someone.

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[8585]
May 18

You need to trust your intuition, but we all know that paranoia is a side effect of this, so add that to the list of difficulties. Ask her to face time you or something. Do you have honest conversations about your thoughts, fears, and feelings?

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