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Hello all. I’m new to the support group thing but had a fe

Hello all. I’m new to the support group thing but had a feeling that I should give it a chance.
My story began over 7 months ago when a friend’s wife sent me a message while I was at work that she just caught her husband in my bed with my wife. I get an unexplainable feeling even when typing it. I honestly thought it was my friend joking with me for 2-3 minutes before I started to get worried. When my wife, friend, and his wife wouldn’t answer their phones I started to believe this may actually be real. I hurried home to find my wife standing in the dark waiting for me. The look on her face let me know it was real and I was crushed. Crushed. The next few days and weeks were the worst of my life without question. It’s been hard for me much longer than that but nothing compares to the initial pain. I’m here to share anything that can maybe help anyone else and to lean on anyone who will help me get past this. Thanks for reading.

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Oct 23

Some of the things youre saying my partner has also said. Mainly I’m referring to how it fed her desire for attention. From my perspective she was only focusing on some negatives in our relationship while taking for granted the many positives. People are just different I suppose. I like to think I could never do that to her. One thing is for certain, I made a conscious effort to not allow myself to be in that situation.

Oct 23

@aimee1234 I couldnt agree more. Staying busy is my savior

devastatedinptbo's picture
Oct 24

@March6th she was focusing on the negatives as a means of justifying her selfish choices to herself. To help her cope with any shame or guilt, and also probably to blame shift so she didn’t have to look hard at herself and the real reasons she was dissatisfied with her life. It’s hard for people, especially emotionally immature people, to self reflect and own their failings and make hard changes in themselves to improve their situations. Much easier to blame their unhappiness on their spouse or relationship.


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