This week's Brilliant New Topic: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
December 3rd, 2020


Hello all, As I'm sure all of you felt before me, I can't

Hello all,

As I'm sure all of you felt before me, I can't believe I'm even writing this post. I discovered my wife of almost 8 years and mother of our two kids' affair the day before her birthday in July. I came home from a 48 hour shift at the firehouse and saw a house that had been empty even though she told me she was home throughout that time. I confronted her that afternoon and she didn't deny anything. One thing I couldn't get over was that she didn't seem that sorry or beg for forgiveness. I spent the night at my sister's and we met and talked the next day. I told her I wanted to try and work through it and stay together. She agreed to couples counseling to try and reconcile. We had two sessions early on and are about to continue again tomorrow. I am fighting so hard for her to see how important this is to me but she is still pretty disconnected. We have been civil and have had some fun times together and with our kids. I love my family so much and was proud of the life we had built together. I tried to be the best provider I could be and was met with so much resentment for working so much. I don't think she's in the healthiest place mentally; depression, anxiety, shame, guilt... I really feel like if she can get through those issues she could see the big picture and realize that I'm here for her and we can be a happy family again.

I am so glad I found this page. I don't feel comfortable talking to many people in my life about this because I'm embarrassed and I still feel protective of my wife. I don't want people to know what she's done. I look forward to healing and hope I can help some of you in some way as well. Thanks for reading.

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Oct 20

@devastatedinptbo I love her voice. Plus she has a way about her that is straight forward. No BS. Just gets to the point. And for someone like me I need that. My husband likes her too.

Oct 20

@queensway I love that about her as well. I listened to The State of Affairs audiobook and she narrates. It’s great. Some interesting concepts in that one.

beth65's picture
Oct 23

I've listened to a lot of her stuff and I like her but she is not my favorite. She seems pro affair to me. But also has good advice. I've listened to some of her counseling sessions from audible. One thing she says that I think is good in a way, and I'm probably butchering this, is that often the person having the affair is finding a part of their self, not that they are unhappy with their spouse, but that there is a part of their self they are experiencing. It is about them not their dissatisfaction with their spouse. Also even in open relationships people have rules and invariably the rules get broken and people are just as devastated.


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