Has anyone in this group made it past D day for more than 4

Has anyone in this group made it past D day for more than 4 years and stayed in their marriage?
I am at 5 1/2 years and just need to hear from others that have made it this far. Thank you!

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Stuckinthemud's picture
Aug 13

It's not too late for counselling. It'll help you sort through the confusion you feel. It seems as if you're holding your breath - waiting to exhale. Limbo is a $hitty place to live.

Aug 12

My d day will be one year on September 1st. Yes I'm still in my marriage yes it has been a difficult year for me ( for those who know my story on here know what I've been through ). What I learned about from my dday never fully trust anyone again, don't be a fool, always keep your guard up, promises can be broken, take you marriage only one day at a time and don't look into the future of your marriage. My h promises he will never cheat again. Like I tell him time will tell if he will remain true to his word.

Bee4bdn's picture
Aug 19

@worldofhurt5 I'm not sure what normal truly is anymore. I still have anger regarding the lying cheating selfishness. Because he has been in therapy since week one we do know all of the how this or that happened. We even have the why. None of that removes the stain. Nothing will ever remove it. If he could take it away I'm beyond sure that he would. There just has to come an acceptance into all of this tho in order to truly forgive our spouse. That for me came after I forgave myself for staying. Without it the intimacy cannot return. You had a double betrayal so did your H best friend plus you also lost your other friendships. That has to sting. Why did the two of you pull away from the rest of your support system? That's bound to have also created some resentment. I would feel so alone if I didn't have my girlfriends. They've never been through this but they are great buffers for me. Did these other friends know about the affair? If not perhaps it would help to rekindle those friendships by asking if they're free for lunch minus your ex best friend of course. They might be more than willing even if they are to remain in the dark regarding the real reason for the split.

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