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Had another big fight ( not huge), but it's all ok. We are f

Had another big fight ( not huge), but it's all ok. We are friends again. Fought because I feel he's not paying enough attention to me, that I am not happy, that I feel like I am not equal partner. I didn't bring up the affair at all, so I'm happy about that. He said there's something wrong with me, doesn't understand what I want. He brings home all the money, I have the good car, I can do whatever I want, he doesn't complain or care when I buy something, what do you want I don't understand? I told him I feel like I don't matter. He says : that's crazy. Every few days there is something wrong and we fight. I think I'm doing everything right. You told me I can't do this, I don't do it, you said I can't go here, I don't go. Just when I think I'm doing everything right, another thing pops up which I'm not doing right. Idk what to do anymore.
I told him I feel like I'm not being heard , he says it's not true and he's sorry if he acts as if he's not listening but he does listen. Ok well my husband has a point. I've become so hyper sensitive that I'm driving myself and him crazy. It's true that he's doing everything right but I always find something. I think we need a break from each other. After the fight I tried on a dress and shoes,in case I go on the trip to Ecuador and he loved it said I look really good in it. Funny thing is , I feel sorry for him. I'm driving him totally insane. I wouldn't be surprised if he really left me.

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Jan 11

It will be tough to get back to where you were before with him. From all that I read your h is doing all the right things. Before screaming at him, take a step back and think about it and discuss it.

Jan 11

@johnyun20 you are right. When he said " I thought I was doing everything right" then I understood that he knows what I'm going through. Until then I thought he might be taking things lightly or not caring about it,but to hear him say that, I understood that he does care and is trying to do the right thing. I then felt very bad for him. It's strange that the BS is sorry for the WS, I think it means I'm pushing too hard and have to let it go.

devastatedinptbo's picture
Jan 11

@Merphurts Also remember that you cannot expect someone else to make you happy. Just like many of our cheating spouses had unrealistic expectations of us to fulfil their voids so they went out and tried to find someone else to do it, we can also not expect them to fill our voids.... even if they created them through cheating. You still are the only one who can do that for yourself. It may not feel fair that you have to do all this work now to feel good for yourself, but unfortunately that is just how it is. I struggle with that injustice daily.


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