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Guys, I'm thinking of divorcing rather than separating at th

[179485]

Guys, I'm thinking of divorcing rather than separating at this point. I wanted to separate for insurance reasons and religious reasons. But I'm kinda all over the place this past week. My husband and I had an argument over the weekend in which he admitted he didn't love me but said he accidentally said that and meant to say he loves me. But when he said that, I told him it was the only true thing he has ever said. We were both really nasty to each other that night and he started using my religion against me, bringing up the fact I cheated in my first marriage to my ex, and telling me he didn't believe I was a repentant person, or right with God, although I never cheated again in my life, on him or anyone else, since my divorce with my ex more than 26 years ago. So I started to get pretty petty too and told him about his CURRENT sins and told him the difference between confessed and repented of sin and his sin which is never repented of at all. So, he's a narc (NPD) he had the unmitigated gall to get the car mirror and point it at me telling me I was the problem. So I told him to never talk to me again and he slept on the couch from there on. This morning he was on my case again so I told him to go to his mothers and stay there or better yet go to his girlfriend's house. After that he was back peddling trying to be nicer. That's how it is with a narc. You can give them all your love and accolades and they treat you like rubbish and cheat the whole time. But soon as you tell them to go away and you're done, they suddenly want you more and would beg you to stay.

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Fiftyyoung's picture
[26545]
Feb 11

You know how I struggled with that exact situation. My attorney asked me if I wanted to be attached to him for the rest of my life. That is what legal separation is. You will be on his insurance. Legally 401k and IRAs can’t be split without penalty as they can in divorce. You’ll need to decide if you can live your life that way. Hugs

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[179485]
Feb 11

@rikk, Thank you for your support and for asking. I've truly tried to be amicable with him. I've been more than understanding, offering to leave him with the house if he would just go to his mother's for now til I can find a job and save up to leave. Long before we were at this ugly point, I offered him to please not just string me along, if he wanted an affair, to be with someone else, please tell me the truth so we could have an amicable separation. He kept claiming he wasn't cheating. Later I told him unless he could admit things so we could clear the air and get counseling to try and save our marriage, it would not work because, unless we dealt with why he cheated, it would just happen again. He still denied everything implying I'm crazy.

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rikk's picture
[5935]
Feb 11

@Scat only u know how he is but for what its worth give him some space and maybe he will approach you and then you two can converse with out being so emotional??

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