First off, thank you to everyone who have been following my


First off, thank you to everyone who have been following my story and offering so many positive words of support. I am truly so thankful I have found this group!
The rest of my week pretty went well. I think my birthday was particularly tough because I found it extra hard to fake happiness when instead, I should be celebrating, but all I could think about was all the turmoil going on in my life which nobody really knows about. However, as hard as it was, I got through the day, and posting in this group definitely helped.

On another note, I am feeling a little bit apprehensive right now about a social event I have to attend tonight, and I thought posting on here might help relieve some stress. Long story short, my husband has a couple best friends who he has known since he was about 5 years old. They are both such wonderful guys and throughout the 10 years of knowing them, I have become very close to them as well. They have had girlfriends come in and out of their lives but over the last couple of years, they decided to finally settle down and they both got married to great women. At first, I was excited to finally be able to hangout with their wives and bond since our husbands are all best friends. However, as time went on, the other two women have become very close through all of the similarities they share which unfortunately I don't share with them. For example, both of these women are constantly posting on social media about how happy they are with their husbands and how fortunate they are to have husbands who treat them so well. They also both had kids within the same year and through that they have become much closer because they would have play dates while their husbands hung out with each other. Meanwhile, I am feeling alienated due to the turmoil my husband and I are facing right now. To top it off, we were trying to conceive shortly before DDay with no success.

Fast forward to tonight, one of the wives are throwing a surprise birthday for her husband. Both my husband and I are going to attend of course. However, I am feeling very stressed about going because I can't help but feel so jealous of their life, and their friendship. I know I shouldn't be, but my life, as well as my frame of mind is just not where theirs is at. But just like I always do, I will put on a fake smile and try my best to enjoy myself tonight. I am well aware that I am very insecure. My anxiety and depression have skyrocketed since Dday and I am currently controlling it with medication. I just can't help but feel so jealous and I am just worried that tonight will just be one giant trigger. I know how ridiculous it sounds. I contemplated even posting on here, but lately posting has been like a form of catharsis and it has helped a bit with my anxiety. Thank you so much to those who read my posts without judgment and offer me support through all this.

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2late2numb's picture
Nov 9

None of that sounds ridiculous. I was in a similar situation with the friends arrangement. Everything looked perfect. Husbands were best friends, wives were best friends. They always did everything together and I felt like an outcast because of the trouble in my relationship. Fast forward, one of the couples is now divorced. It’s not always the way it appears on the surface (or on social media).

Kas1966's picture
Nov 9

@Brkn87 no its not bad. We find after dday our self esteem plummets so little things like that help build it back up.

Nov 9

@Brkn87 NOPE!!!


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