This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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Feeling frustrated. Its been almost 6 months since my wife h

Feeling frustrated. Its been almost 6 months since my wife had an affair with a person from her past and 5 months since I found out. As in most cases, this has been a horrible time. Ever since my wife was caught, she cut off contact to that person, joined AR, is doing a ton of work to make our relationship work and is completely remorseful. She is basically giving me a lot of what I need to move forward. So in that sense, the situation is as good as it can be. There is always a but.... I of course have intrusive thoughts 24/7 which creates a lot of fights and takes us a few steps back each time. This incident has changed who I am. I used to be happy, proud, in love. Now I am the opposite. I know I love my wife, I just don't know that I am IN LOVE any more. I used to be proud of our marriage and our life, now its just a partnership, I used to laugh out loud at her jokes or funny comments, now we are lucky if I smile once a day. I used to be more patient at her and the kids, now I blow up easily. She changed me and I just dont know I will ever forgive, I don't know I will ever be the person I used to be. I don't know if I should stay or go. Sometimes I feel like I should leave, but just because I want to punish her. I know how much this will kill her. But I know that is not what I want, not what is best for the family, for the kids. I am so frustrated that she gave up so much for just a few hours of fun with an ex. Horrible decision, huge consequences. She lost so much as a result. Is there anything anyone can recommend me reading? I feel like I need to figure out a way to forgive her so I can free myself from this pain, from these nasty thoughts. Sorry, I am mostly venting.... To be honest, given what happened, I am in the best possible situation. My wife is doing the work and we are together raising our 3 kids and still in it together.

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Jul 11

@Sdiamond1026 melbourne

Sdiamond1026's picture
Jul 13

@LOXFA001 ah ok, yeah not too far away.

Jul 16

Hey buddy! Hope all is well


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