Exactly a year after being told i was cheated on years befor

Exactly a year after being told i was cheated on years before that i cant seem to forgive and let go of the resentment. I keep being told in order for me to move forward with my partner i need to forgive (not forget) i also understand i need to forgive for my own sake and well being...But i cant seem to. Is this something that just needs time and work or is this a indication that this is not something i can forgive and should not remain in the marriage, in your opinion?
me not being able to get to this stage is really affecting my partner and she too now is really low because of my hot and cold behaviour, its not fair on her and i dont want to put her through this but no matter how hard i try...i just cant seem to let it go

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devastatedinptbo's picture
(91140)
Jan 27

@sunfloweraf That book sounds very helpful. I think I’ll order it too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last 4 years it’s that the more tools you have in your emotional tool box the better you are able to handle the difficult moments and conversations that come up. And they always come up at some point!

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sunfloweraf's picture
(2295)
Jan 27

@devastatedinptbo I hope you find it helpful too! Some concepts were familiar but the most encouraging part for me is the way it explains reactive patterns and then teaches you how to transform those patterns. Learning to relate instead of control, and like I said earlier, it was eye-opening to learn about all the ways my husband and I have been trying to control the outcome, without realizing it.

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(1195)
Jan 27

@sunfloweraf thank you so much

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