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Did something stupid this morning. I messaged one of my husb

[690]

Did something stupid this morning. I messaged one of my husband affair partners. I've been having extremely vengeful feelings of wanting to destroy her life. I've gotten pretty creative in my head. In most instances it involves communicating with her current boyfriend and her daughter who lived with her when she was sleeping with my husband. But, the reality is doing any of those things to hurt her wouldn't make me feel better. So, I'm hopeful that sending this angry message will help me move on and let go of the hate and anger at her. She takes up too much room in my head for an affair that ended years ago. I told my husband via email (he hasn't woken up yet to read it). He knows the thoughts in my head and knows how much personal information I know about this woman. While I know it isn't healthy, I hope he understands this is me grasping at ways to move on.

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[860]
Mar 25

@Kyleah I get it. I understand it. I was almost where you were. I had written things. I had gotten into my car to travel to her home. I stopped myself every time right before I did it though. and this was my reason.... I did not want her seeing my pain.... The pain was there but I did not want to give her the satisfaction to see it from me in written form, by my voice, or in person. She was not going to put a dagger in my heart anymore. Next time you get to this point, just say NO- she does not get to see my hurt/pain anymore.... she does not get to one up me. Do something fun together during the quarantine to take your mind off of things-- maybe a silly board game or if its nice take a walk or run together. Blessings to you.

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[120]
Mar 25

I can relate, when I first found out my girlfriend was cheating I was so angry I cut up all her favorite shirts while she was at work, let the air out of one of her tires, and threatened to tell her landlord about her cat (which he strictly forbids animals and told her that over a year ago). The pleasure was only temporary. After letting my anger get the best of me I started thinking “is this the type of person I want to be” and the answer was no. I’m the better person here and I don’t want to lose anymore of my dignity by sinking to that level. And of course she just tells people I’m crazy so it makes me seem like the bad guy. You just have to find a healthier way to deal with these feelings.

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[690]
Mar 25

Thanks everyone! While I'm a little disappointed that I didn't have more self control, I do feel a little bit of a release. I told my husband to his face what I had done. I also learned he contacted her one more time after he said he had stopped. That's a bummer. But, the good news was the communication was to tell her we were doing well and she was happy for us. This was just a friend with benefits. But, it doesn't change that I wanted to absolutely destroy her (when I'm at my worst). I feel like I got what I needed out of my system (at least as it pertains to her). I'm not saying I would recommend it for others. Maybe the situation is unique, I don't know. Appreciate everyone's support and kind words! He's to overcoming this pain and this virus. I refuse to let 2020 ruin me!

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