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Been a little bit since I've posted. It's with a sad hear

Been a little bit since I've posted.

It's with a sad heart and heavy soul that I have to write this. I e-mailed my attorney today to schedule my appointment to put my divorce back in to play.

When my wife approached me after I first filed for divorce and asked I was still interested in going to counseling, I had hope for us. We went, and what a disaster only to find out from the counselor that my wife had only gone to appease me. For what reason, I don't think we'll ever know.

Since then, it's just been lie after lie, and being told we just need time. I honestly believe if I hear that word once more, I'll be sick. I'll keep it short and sweet though. I went to pick up my kids last Sunday from my wife, kids and I headed back to out apartment to put on the bike rack and go pick up their new bikes I had bought. We were in he parking lot (this was about 45 minutes after I had picked them up) loading up the bikes, and we were parked at the very end of the isle (don't you when you have a new vehicle??). Slowly driving by is my wife's vehicle, and low and behold the OM is in the passenger seat. My kids waived, she stopped at the end of the isle and didn't acknowledge them and then they left. I sent her a text letting her know that the kids saw him in the car with her, and her only response was "ok". Later on that day, I got another text from her stating that his truck wasn't working and that he asked her to take him to Walmart and Lowe's. Now the kids and I were aware that she was still talking to him, but to flaunt him out in public like that in a small town and let the kids actually see it was the last straw. She's been off and on saying one thing to the next, stating their just friends and all of a sudden telling me they never slept together and she never stayed at this house (I know for a fact she stayed at his house). I told her on several occasions that if we're going to work on anything between us, she needs to get rid of him once and for all, and do it now. She told me, that she just needs time to work on herself, and that she's not going to rush into anything on my time frame. I gave her several chances after that, and well she would just basically ice over actually answering. It just hit me today, that I'm fine. I know I've done, said, showed her how I feel about her, and she's just taken it all in and discarded it without a care - I guess thinking I'll just wait and wait. So I told her today that we need to just stop this, as her randomly starting arguments with me (her way of "checking in" I guess since we don't talk about anything other than the kids) has finally taken it's toll and that if she was not going to make a decision about us or him that I was taking that as she's chosen him. She wouldn't respond, and then later ask something more about the kids.

So e-mail sent to my attorney, I'll await for them to set up my meeting to go over what I want them to present to her attorney for a settlement and hopefully be able to just call it and move on. I didn't bother to tell her I was going to my attorney, as she couldn't show me the courtesy to tell me what she was feeling, or wanted and had now gone back to lying about what really occurred and being seen with him around town letting our kids see this.

I'll rest easy knowing I did absolutely everything I imagined possible to try and save our family. I started this journey off back in March and was a complete wreck. So I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone here, for just listening and sharing your own stories. It's more help than anyone could ask for or realize from an online group.

For those still struggling, I wish you luck and just know it does get easier. Now I still love her, but I know I deserve better. She's the one who chose to step out and wreck her life. She'll eventually face karma and see what she's done and regret it. So just know, one day it's going to click and you'll just know you're ready to let go and move on.

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Kas1966's picture
Aug 2, 2019

@TxParker why the nastiness. Is it because you refuse to let her continue to have you both in her life?

Aug 2, 2019

So sorry , so tough to see that. Your doing the rite thing I fought for our marriage for a year, on and off mostly off she would always push me away start dating etc. It was a lot of unnecessary heartbreak, kinda like splitting over and over again. I would be in a better spot now if we would have had a clean break, now we dont communicate at all even bout kids like u I take solace in the fact I tried , stay strong neither

Aug 2, 2019

@Steelerman123 brother


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