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Anyone else that is permanently thinking about the affair an

Anyone else that is permanently thinking about the affair and all the untold truths? Like my husband and I will be chatting or just being around each other, and even though he is having a conversation about a whole other topic, all the questions I want to ask *again* is mauling through my head as I look at him.most of the time.im 6wks in.

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Baron_1994's picture
[60]
Nov 22

@SisterinChrist Exactly, I want to try and give it everything I've got, keep a happy home for my kids and maybe, just maybe save our relationship and go on stronger. I know she is trying and I things are getting better. I can sleep better at nights than before, but there will always be scars and there will always be moments where it really gets to me and that knot builds up in my stomach. That's why I came onto this site - to find out if what I was feeling was normal and to be around people going through the same thing. I'm not giving up on my kids family life and my marriage - there is still a lot of love in my house, and with time I hope things will come together.

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Baron_1994's picture
[60]
Nov 22

@fractured_one I Don't know if we do ever get the full truth - certainly when I have found anything written down, a Valentines card or a text, it always hurts more. Maybe the full truth is never what you want to hear, and curiosity is our worst enemy. I'm just trying to concentrate on how it feels. If the day is a good one, then I'll sleep better and I'll be happy. I find that things are more open when I text/email my wife when she is at work, rather than talking face to face. Weird how that works, but it seems easier for both of us to say how we feel that way than talking face to face. In my case I believe the full explanation will not be the revelation that we'd expect, just a set of excuses for what was a weakness on her part in letting something go too far and denying to herself at the time that it would harm because it would never be 'found out'. If there was a magic answer that made it all make sense and gave complete closure, I'm sure it would be given - I just don't think there is....

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[2960]
Nov 22

@Baron_1994 I don't think it's a magic answer that we're looking for from a cheating spouse. I know in my case all i wanted from my ex-wife was the truth, no matter how awful it might be to hear. Once you start stacking lies on top of lies, that's when you start questioning every little thing, start thinking about all the insignificant moments and think to yourself, "Was she lying then too?", it will drive any sane person crazy. So it's not looking for a magic answer that wraps everything up for complete closure, for me i just wanted the truth with no excuses, no blame shifting, just give me the facts of what happened and let me determine if i'll forgive those actions.

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