Affair Partner’s spouse: My wife had an affair with a mar

Affair Partner’s spouse:
My wife had an affair with a married man. She disclosed it to me with the help of counselors and we are working hard to stay together. The affair partner has not disclosed to his spouse.

I am very conflicted in my conscience about leaving her in the dark. It’s been several months since I found out, and initially I admit to being motivated to see the affair partner suffer. Now, however, I genuinely feel weighed down by the plight of his spouse who is still unwittingly trapped in her husband’s deceit. I am considering reaching out to her pastor or one of her siblings with the information, so they can convey it to her (or not) as they deem fit.

If it were me, I would want to know. I am wondering a) whether or not to do this at all, and b) recommendations for the best course of action, with the welfare of the affair partner’s spouse in mind. As it stands, I do not feel peaceful about her being left in the dark. Thoughts?

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Floored's picture
Jan 16, 2020

I would tell her not anyone else it is embarrassing enough to find out your spouse is cheating, it would be her choice who she shares that information with or not. It will be devastating no matter how she finds out and she will.

Jan 16, 2020

You need to somehow tell her, she deserves to know, Cheaters know from the start when you play with fire you will eventually get burned.

hap's picture
Jan 17, 2020

She needs to know. She needs to be able to take control of her life


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