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Wife recently had a 4 month affair with a coworker. He was f

Wife recently had a 4 month affair with a coworker. He was fired for being drunk at work after she ended it when I found out.

Hes in rehab now and she feels guilt for playing a role in his alcoholism.

I dread the day he gets out of rehab in case he tries to reach out and / or make ammends.

Has anyone successfully moved past an affair with their spouse? We have 2 kids and I want to move forward but the pain is truly crippling.

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Pacita4's picture
Oct 18

@tspear1 I did not. So when he came clean about everything. He was still lying. He didn’t get out of his affair fog until my 2 older children over heard him talking to her. His individual therapy has helped so much. I am very thankful he took the step to seek help before he told me everything. It has helped him work through a ton of us.

Kas1966's picture
Oct 18

@tspear1 we go once every two weeks and yes its been extremely helpful.

devastatedinptbo's picture
Oct 18

@tspear1 it’s definitely a two step forward one step back process. Glad to hear you are both in therapy. While I found couples therapy somewhat helpful in the beginning with navigating through the infidelity trauma, what was most helpful was my husband’s individual counselling which helped him really dig deep into his issues and how he had become someone who could stoop so low morally and betray me and our relationship. It’s been just over 3 years since d-day, and it hasn’t been easy, but we are in a much better place now and our relationship is becoming stronger and healthier as we continue to work on communication and other skills. I highly recommend Dr. Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight for reconnecting and learning how to identify unhealthy patterns. I also recommend the book Not ‘Just Friends’ by Shirley Glass for learning about appropriate relationship boundaries and for affair recovery. Hang in there. This is a good site for support!

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