Feeling very down and negative today. I feel like I need a l

Feeling very down and negative today. I feel like I need a little bit of extra re-assurance or open-ness from my wife and if I express that need, it's just me being weak and insecure. After everything we've been thru, you'd think she would be different. I'm tired of all of this. She is so self centered and selfish, I doubt she even knows how bad things are with us.

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I just still really hold a lot of resentment for the lack of effort my wife put into trying to make things right. I don't want it to eat me alive, and I don't want it to destroy our marriage, but it feels like that is what is happening.

Unnamed19s's picture
May 26

I feel this. Only difference is we're already past the divorce. He didn't even try to get us to stay. Not one word.

SoloDad's picture
May 26

Sorry Jamie, I know that tortured feeling of wanting to fix something so broken. I finally realized that there was no fixing my relationship. It took some deep soul searching and actually a very strange dream. Early on in my breakup, shortly after finding out for sure that my ex had a new boyfriend and that she had been cheating on me before we even separated I had fallen asleep one night. I found my self in a lucid dream (when you become conscious while dreaming) After trying my hardest to wake up I eventually just kind of gave up. I found myself walking through the landscape of my mind. The dream seemed endless and I actually became convinced I must be in a coma or maybe even dead. It literally felt like months of just kind of traversing my subconscious. All I did was think about everything until finally actually waking up. I was shocked that I was just in my bed because I thought for sure if I did wake up it would be in a hospital bed. I had only been asleep for a couple hours. I couldn't believe it. Strangely I immediately knew what I had to do... leave her... and for good. It was almost like my brain created the time I needed to actually think everything through. Of course I couldn't go back to sleep for fear of being STUCK in my dreams again. At about 3:00 am my ex showed up at my house after a fight with her boyfriend and I immediately told her I was completely done with the relationship. I feel like that dream saved my life and sanity. I guess I'm saying try to think long and hard about what is best and actually include your feelings as something that's important. If your going to feel tortured the rest of your life because of this person you should probably leave. Good luck my friend.

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