Feeling conflicted...what was your main motivation to stay i

chas188's picture

Feeling conflicted...what was your main motivation to stay in relationship or leaving after discovery. Im still in early stages and even with wife putting in more work finding myself questioning my desire or motivation to be here. Still committed to the process but often feel questions from her to be further along or not ask about the past.. Th

i dont stay talking or bringing up the past everyday and if i do more for support not blame but triggered almost every day. 6 years she had on off secret affair no time line on my healing and I wish did not sometimes have questions still but working on that and on me more its a struggle I get she feels guilt shame now that fog is going away but only truly went away few months ago after she sent letter ending relationship. Anyhow curious others ah ha moment

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Jan 17

@MDMermaid I felt every thing you wrote. I am so sorry for him changing you. I am forever changed too. I get angry and frustrated all the time. When before it was something I would think nothing of. I feel incredibly loved too... yet at the same time cannot believe what he has done or that he was capable of doing what he did to us. It actually baffles me sometimes. I cannot believe it. I have just been trying to keep the focus on US. Not just me and not just him. Us together. Our relationship has gotten so much better in many aspects. Hopefully it gets better as time goes on and the pain is less. I just keep wondering... will it always feel this way? Will it be years later and I still have days where I am completely heartbroken? Am I willing to wait and see? For now, I think I am.

Jan 17

@Scat Good for you! Are you in remission now? I hope you are well. I am glad you are no longer a doormat!

Scat's picture
Jan 17

@Hope4support Thank you!

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