A year later I think about this AFFAIR EVERY DAY. Not the sa

chas188's picture
(6705)

A year later I think about this AFFAIR EVERY DAY. Not the same intensity and I dont get stuck but not a single day has gone by that I dont think or feel it in some way. Def progress but just feels strange every day even if only a minute. Is that normal? Can anyone relate or have advice. I change thoughts I do things but find myself easily thinking bout it her him it even when I'm distracted

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chas188's picture
(6705)
May 3

@Notruth im not alone yeah wild because I could be having a good day and a sing plays or im at the store or even after self care. Again doesn't last like before but might just be like oh wow so crazy because I use to let her know when I had a thought for support but often find myself not interested in saying anything or like I told marriage therapist im not picking at scar I have not healed yet

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chas188's picture
(6705)
May 3

@John99 it definitely gets better one month in I was a wreck on here in life trusted nothing no one fantasized about them even brought him into my sex life fantasy it felt insane the pain. Today thoughts with a different more self focused lens. Im not obsessing or STAYING in the rabbit whole as long and using it to gain perspective some say distract but I also think important to recognize why we feel or think about it too. It does suck though never got so caught up on something but also like many never thought I'd be betrayed by the person who I trusted the most

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chas188's picture
(6705)
May 3

@Leahzan your always so on point. I smiled reading this not at your pain but at how much I was like thats me I often think of her AP I think to avoid anger and resentment towards her. But I also do hold him accountable I read all the books and had therapy about not him its her but while I married her and she made the choice he knew me he knew us he knew exactly what he wanted to do and my ego taking a bruising. Hard to look at her everyday and even when not with her I think of it plus she went to lots of hotels in our area. She's like never in our home geeze thanks only every hotel surrounding our home lol gotta laugh to stop crying thanks all

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