Hello, I'm new and in need of some advice. Please do not adv

Hello, I'm new and in need of some advice. Please do not advise me to get counseling. Im in need of guinue opinions from people with life exprience. Thanks so much.

My husband has repeatly taken advantage of my "disability" Or so i believe.

I am on the schizoid affective spectrum along with autism. I have trouble understanding what is truth and what is fabricated by my mind. I have believed many unrealisic things such as being watched on a hidden camera in my home, being stalked, plots against me to murder me.
But there is no proof of these and I know these thoughts are irrational. So, I quickly dismiss them and move on.

And. Actually...
I am highly functional and rather normal considering these thoughts are daily. However,my concern is I am easily presuaded and very gullible. Nieve and all believing on the other end..
I just can't seem to argue against my husband when he makes me feel he is up to no good. I mean, I know for a fact I suffer from mental illness. The thoughts I have of his unfaithfullness may actually be in my head. It could all be complete fabracation...

But..at the same time these thoughts are not the same as my over the edge 'they are going to kill me' feelings. Instead these thoughts, along with bad aniexty, are triggered by things that actually happen.

For example,

The most recent event has to do with a trainer lady. She approached him months ago while I was away and offered a free class to him. I had noticed mutal eye contact before hand that seemed to me like mutal interest. If u know what i mean. I laughed and made a joke she probably thought he was single and was hoping for some. Plus, I wanted him to know i was paying attention. Later on, she approached him again and was almost flirtatious in demeanor. I told my husband it was starting to make me uncomfortable and irritating me. Another time she was training next to where my hub was. This time his body language was flirtagous. As I approached him he seemed agravated and treated me like an annoyance. And ignored me like I wasnt there.He walked off and i followed him trying to get his attention. I felt like a little puppy trying to chase my own **** husband. I told him again how i felt. Now he is setting up training with her. Which is an extension to the story but the point is the whole thing smells fishy.
Especailly after we already discussed A. no opposite sex trainers and B. I feel she is interested in him.

He responsed by telling me not to get jealous.

Also, anytime I try to confornt these things he just deflects. Hell try tp get me to kiss him or tickle me and treats my concerns with indifference. He doesbt take me seriously. He tells me Im overthinking and pretty much is dismissive.

The list goes on and on of suspicious behavior. 10 years of crap.

How can I begain to figure whats the truth is?

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Error101's picture
Aug 11

@Henrietta606 I am not being hostile against you. If you do not feel comfortable with me. I will be okay. I can only imagine what you must be feeling within yourself. I am sorry and I do not mean to send you the wrong message. Perhaps, we can start over again as strangers. =)

Henrietta606's picture
Aug 11

@Error101 I don't have a problem at all with you. I don't even know you. I just didn't like that one thing that was said and I'm totally over it. There was a comment from someone else that sounded judgmental and that's why I said not to judge me because you don't know me. I'm totes fine. :-) and I like your candor.

StillStandingMF's picture
Aug 11

@Innerturmoil Excellent insight...couldn't agree more!!!


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