I have taken a deep breath and I'm posting this. I am female

[1070]

I have taken a deep breath and I'm posting this. I am female and my older sister (of 6 years) tortured me, physically, emotionally and mentally when I was a child (pre 9). I also have memories of her being sexual with me. I want to write she abused me. Did she abuse me? Is it abuse? I'm struggling with this the most.

Comment
 9
View 6 More Comments
Mosaic's picture
[5650]
Dec 2

Yes, she abused you. She may also have been the victim of abuse. It's okay, you'll be okay. It was an experience you had, not a definition of who you are, or who she is. But it's a part of your history you should definitely face, and it's going to be very much easier to face in the safety of a qualified and caring therapist's office, in regular appointments over a period of time. There are therapists who specialize in childhood sexual abuse, and who also run survivor groups, because that setting allows for an easier letting go of inhibitions about talking, when you're hearing other people's experiences. I met wonderful, lovely, caring, compassionate souls in groups... it gave me strength and joy, to see the beauty that rose out of such ugliness. Move towards that passage: therapy. It will get you to the other side, where you don't have to live in fear anymore.

Reply
[1070]
Dec 3

@Mosaic thank you

Reply
Mosaic's picture
[5650]
Dec 3

@dmdiddles, you are welcome, young friend (I'm 60 now, started dealing with my stuff around age 29). There might be newer books available about this issue, but when I was in my 20s, there was The Courage to Heal, a large volume by two warm and caring women therapists. It's full of many different stories of child victims of sexual abuse, and it was enormously comforting (odd, I know) to be aware that other women who sounded like myself had experienced such pain and confusion at the hands of ppl we should have been able to fully trust and usually did in most circumstances. I see it in thrift stores nowadays. At least one of the groups I went to used that book as part of the overall treatment, so, if you see it, you might start your process of healing there. (There is a similar volume that focuses on male childhood victims of sexual abuse... I can't remember the name right now, but if someone wants to know I will find it.) Keep showing up in here, you never know when you will hear a voice you really need to hear, and see a light you need to see. Love, Mosaic

show more ⇓
Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account