I have taken a deep breath and I'm posting this. I am female

[1640]

I have taken a deep breath and I'm posting this. I am female and my older sister (of 6 years) tortured me, physically, emotionally and mentally when I was a child (pre 9). I also have memories of her being sexual with me. I want to write she abused me. Did she abuse me? Is it abuse? I'm struggling with this the most.

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Mosaic's picture
[7105]
Apr 15

@dmdiddles, you are welcome. There might be newer books available about this, including The Courage to Heal, a large volume by two warm and caring women therapists. It's full of many different stories of child victims of sexual abuse. I see it in thrift stores nowadays. There is a similar volume that focuses on male childhood victims of sexual abuse...) Keep showing up in here, you never know when you will hear a voice you really need to hear, and see a light you need to see. Love, Mosaic

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[1640]
Apr 2

@Mosaic I started reading that book you mentioned but I got stuck on the first chapter. It seems silly but it says that people can be abused by.... and lists a whole heap of different relationships (e.g - fathers, brothers etc.). It does not say sisters and goes on to say that only a small percentage of females are the abusers. I feel like I need validation from someone that what I went through was abuse. I can't stop listening to the voice in my head that says, you are overreacting and what happened wasn't wrong. I just can't seem to accept the part of me that knows what happened wasn't right and is why I'm hurting so much.

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Mosaic's picture
[7105]
Apr 2

@dmdiddles

If you wait to find a resource exclusively about sisters, you'll have to wait too long. Open that book to any random page and allow the information that's hidden there with labels other than 'big sister' teach you what those other brave victims of the unthinkable can. The affrontery of incest of any kind leaves a similar stamp of "otherness." You can be your own discoverer of your particular array of effects on you, and designer of the pathway to wholeness. What is your goal state? What do you want to feel when you're "cured?" Imagine, think about it, in positive terms (rather that what you don't want to feel anymore, what you want to feel). Mosaic

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