*Hello Amazing Members our newest "Life Hack" is out, click BLOG (above on the green menu bar) to check it out!!!! * ****"Making Gratefulness a Priority"**** HINT: when you click https://www.supportgroups.com/blog, make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. We are working on making this more intuitive. -SG

I'm so messed up right now when will it end when will I star

I'm so messed up right now when will it end when will I start feeling normal instead of rejected, not good enough, insecure, like freaking trash!!! I'm damaged goods I'm worthless!! Who the hell is going to accept me for me except junkie, ex prostitute, on disability because I'm so messed up emotionally and mentally that I can't do anything right!! I switch all the time I can't make up my mind about anything. One minute I feel beautiful, sexy, lovable, the next can be hell all I have to do is feel like this man is cutting me off on messenger by adruptly finishing his sentence and saying good night not wait for a response all we do is talk about God and honestly that's what attracted me to him otherwise I probably would not have taken another look! As Soon as that happened I was left thinking did I say something wrong? He doesn't even know how much I like him because God has to come first in my life or all else will fail I will make the wrong decision and pick the wrong guy it's been 3 years on the 12th this month since I decided to stay by myself with my children and focus on my recovery and my children,, being alone is like a shield bof protection because no one can hurt me like my ex we have a child together with down syndrome and he raised my daughter from the age of 3 that I got pregnant for on a date I prefer to be alone with my children, but after meeting this man that I have been around since I was a child hung out with his sister and he knows my family from Wisconsin now I totally like him am attracted to him taking really slow don't even know if he knows I really like him all the freaking feelings of rejection, that I'm garbage come right back as soon as they are triggered the feelings I used and practically killed myself over with the drugs and lifestyle I lead this is what all the rapes, the incest from my father, grandfather, and countless others did to me how am I supposed to get away from the feelings when will I get better who the hell will see me inside instead of my looks who's going to believe I'm good , I'm beautiful inside not my past history.

show more ⇓

thats what you think of yourself...... that man might see you like someone he couldnt dream to be with, someone who he knows comes from a hard past and still manages to see the beautiful person inside her. he might be scared to do or say the wrong thing, we appear as we think. but the thing is what we think is almost impossible to control. so be who you are. let the hurt out. i couldnt imagine. but know one thing, you are who you remember yourself as. what we believe is whats real. you cant change that, so you have to change what you believe. alone is the most merciful place to be. we forgive ourself, we forget ourself, we can be, and nobody can take that from us. i really wish i could say something that makes sense. im in a crappy place myself. i couldnt imagine going thru that. i got 2 beautiful baby babies myself and my exwife wont even let me talk to them, i cant even mention them without chokn. im sorry for rambling

18 hours ago

You shared your focus on God, so remember how He sees you - beautiful. You're taking care of your children and trying to deal with the past, so if you haven't please find a counselor to help you work through things and help you move forward with a new view of yourself, and life with your children. Best wishes as you move forward.

ForgetMekNot's picture
13 hours ago

@Charliegirl816 thank you, I do see a counselor but things have been so busy with my children and summer with the humidity it's strenuous but I've been trying to get ahold of my counselor. Thank you


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account