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I got diagnosed with HPV a few weeks ago and now I'm in my w

I got diagnosed with HPV a few weeks ago and now I'm in my worst depressive state ever.

I can't seem to get to grips with the fact that it is permanent (yeah, in some cases your body can eradicate it but that's not always the case). I feel physically sick whenever I think about it, I can't seem to find anyway around it. My thoughts are always, 'it's fine, it will pass' and then I realise, no, it won't.
I feel genuinely disgusting, like it makes me worry that if my partner decides to leave me in the future, no one will ever love me again. Like, who on earth would voluntarily get an STI? Even if someone did, I would feel AWFUL for giving it to them, knowing that they may feel as horrible as I feel now. Please, I'm begging for some help with this. I really don't know how many more negative thoughts I can take.

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dopaminex's picture
Feb 5, 2018

Heyy! I was diagnosed with HPV almost a year ago and at first I was depressed about it as well. Being a single 20 year old woman, I felt like no one would ever want to sleep with me again. I decided to start dating anyway and I told some guys about my situation. They actually were very kind and they still wanted to have sex with me! (with a condom ofcourse). So don't worry about finding a relationship, it is possible and people will understand. Also: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. there are so many people carrying HPV with them. I once told one of my friends about it and she was like: 'I also have it!' so, it is more common then you might think and it just happens. Life happens, things happen. Don't worry! It does not make you less of a person. You're still the same, beautiful human being :) Luckily this HPV is not bad for your health and an 'STI' sounds bad, but it's just the stigma that makes it difficult. Please don't let it kill your happiness. You are loved and people will love you even with this. If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to send me a message <3 take care!

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Feb 6, 2018

@dopaminex your very positive. We each have a story and sharing removes those feelings of isolation. Keep your head up.

Feb 14, 2018

I have the same thoughts and feelings you are sharing. They are largely based on an unreasonable stigma. The current medical prognosis never suggests this disease is disgusting or warrants abstinence. Medical science does suggest the virus persists after symptoms resolve, much like the other 100s of thousands of viruses that infect human beings. That said there is no logical reason to fret outside the irrational stigma we've created, and can mend. Talk to loved ones. Get a dialog going with you medical providers and see a therapist if possible. Go on dates, and talk about this. Open and honest dialogue will reframe these irrational and depressing thoughts you are having. Before you know it things will adjust to a positive light. You got this!


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