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Why dont i get to live the life i wanted, when that isnt the

[15800]

Why dont i get to live the life i wanted, when that isnt there i feel like theres no point in gaining success in other aspects of my life but im also afraid of failure.

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 3

I cfeel like a whole failure to i totally dont get to live the life inwant to. Like even if i didnt had the dream life just being myself and dreaming about my dream life was enough. But al my feelings got talen away. My love for boys is gone and it used to keep me on two feet. I feel so lost right now like i lost eevertthing. If i dreeam about my dreamlife it doesnt do anything just no feelings bevause im not attracted to what i want to be attracted to. Everything had changed ever since hocd. I feel like im gaiinig succes but im like it doesnt matter. I dont want this succes i want old me back. Theres nothing that i can do with this succes if i will never be me and it also unmotivates me so much to keep going and do my best.

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[15810]
Jan 11

@Iwantmyoldselfback
I just feel like whats the point, i havent been able to study the last while because of this and that f*cks my college application up, i always wanted to br with a woman and have kids a good job, i just wonder what the point is in being with same sex and having a sh!t job, not to say homosexualitys a bad thing theres nothing wrong with it but i dont want to live that lifestyle. Im the same as you as in here i am wprking well in the gym and in school and then i realise if im gay whats the point, why bother if i cant live the life i want. You know?

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Yess same! Everything i do i remember why am i doing this? Why am i dressup up why am i doint my makeup? Whats the point of it if i wont get to live the lifestyle that I wanted. Its so unfair

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