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when i go though the compulsions i will always make up a sce

when i go though the compulsions i will always make up a scenerio of myself with a member of the same sex to check my reaction and its so scary because sometimes ill feel weirded out by it but then other times it will feel like i will enjoy it mixed w anxiety, am i the only one experiencing this ? and it makes me think im going through the bi-cycle

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