Soooo I don't know what's up, but I'm so easily able to acce

Soooo I don't know what's up, but I'm so easily able to accept these thoughts that yup, I could be a lesbian and into girls and sexually into girls too. I have a boyfriend and my attraction towards him is kinda bleh, at the moment because I've been analysing stuff.

Anywayyyyy so I've just been accepting thoughts. I'm having thoughts that I'm a lesbian and I'm like okay, sure. Although it makes me a teeny bit anxious. My mother gives me reassurance but now that reassurance is backfiring because I'm having thoughts that my parents don't want me to be lesbian and my boyfriend doesn't want me to be lesbian? What's the best way to combat such thoughts? I've reached a point where I don't care anymore. I just wish I didn't have ROCD with it because all my happy memories are wiped out with my boyfriend.

So yeah, does this mean I'm getting better? Is this what recovery feels like?