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My past makes me think I’m gay. I understand why. I also g

[11960]

My past makes me think I’m gay. I understand why. I also get scared because I’ve not been doing compulsions for months like coming on this site but the thoughts are still there. All the time. Which means it’s real thoughts.

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 3
katloui's picture
[885]
Dec 6

Why does your past makes you think you're gay?

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[38590]
Dec 6

It takes a long time to rewire your brain even if you aren't doing anymore compulsions. You might even be performing mental compulsions that you aren't even really aware of. I still have thoughts as well, and it's something I've learned to live with..... But I am leaps and bounds better, as are you! :) Look at how far you've come... That's what matters! You know the other day I looked at a woman around my age and thought she looked like a Disney Princess..... The thought is clearly innocent, but it freaked me out a little bit because why in the world would I think such a thing...ya know?! I had to reassure myself that it's totally normal to think such a thing.... The thoughts you are having aren't the problem, it's how you respond.

Reply
[265]
Dec 7

Yeah man, this whole thing takes a lot of courage to confront and actively take the steps to get out of where you were before, the most important thing is to keep using your techniques to help such as erp, cbt, or mindfulness. Just be persistent, surround yourself with a lo ing community, and be active DONT isolate yourself. Also keep in mind that hocd truee to find all the ways to twist your mind into thinking your gay, but the fact of the matter is that what it tells you is not true. For instance you said you have the thoughts all the time, gay people can choose to stop having their fantasies when they need to you seem like your in a constant state with the thoughts like they never leave, that is HOCD. I recommend watching calling jesse on YouTube and taking some notes on some strategies you can apply for yourself. And know that you can and should implement what works best for you.

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