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I haven't been on here in awhile... And I really don't even

[44790]

I haven't been on here in awhile... And I really don't even care to visit this site either.. Which is huge because for six years I visited this forum daily. I'm not fully recovered, but I'm in a far better place than I was last year at this time. Am I certain of my orientation? No! But that's okay! Each day is different in terms of how hocd affects me, but my brain no longer latches onto every thought and feeling... And obtaining certainty is no longer a matter of life or death! This past weekend I was able to go to a friend's Burlesque Dance production and I handled the experience far better than I used to! We even went to the strippers afterwards (not of my choice), and I survived! I didn't watch the strippers, but occasionally I would look out of curiosity.... In the past this curiosity would have sent me into a panic, but now I am able to recognize that it's completely normal to be curious and check out other women's bodies.... It means nothing about my orientation!!! I did have thoughts and one thought caused palpitations in my groin..... And I did wonder what that meant about me to be honest... And I had to reassure myself that a lot of straight women are aroused by women's bodies and lesbian porn, so what I experienced was probably normal. Later that night while lying in What I went through, and what you're going through, is not normal!!!

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I’m glad that you’re doing better! I’ve actually been on the NOCD app a lot so I don’t come here that much either.

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Iwantmyoldselfback's picture
[10175]
Nov 10

@IWillGetBetter07 jupp same been there all the time too lol. Im hocdgirlsummer lol but this is the OG suuport group

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