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I don't even know what attraction is anymore! I feel like I

[44265]

I don't even know what attraction is anymore! I feel like I could be more attracted to women than men... Especially since I visit female instagram accounts more than men's..... They just seem more interesting to be honest.... I'm not checking out their accounts because I'm thinking about how hot they are... It's just that I'm either comparing, judging, or curious about how their life is going. Maybe deep down I'm attracted to these women...I mean why else would I select their accounts to look at? And sometimes, I do have a reaction to what a girl looks like... Whether it be, "wow, she's so pretty!" (But then that leads to checking to see if I really feel that way), a shortness of breath, or a groinal response. I haven't felt a strong attraction to a guy in so long...I do have a boyfriend of 14 years and I think he's good looking... And I do want to touch him and kiss him, but I rarely have the urge to jump his bones and sex with him is typically mediocre. So that makes me question whether I'd enjoy sex better with a woman. I don't want to have sex with a woman. I don't want to sleep next to a woman. I don't want to do anything with a woman... Except share a hug with a female relative when parting ways. But then thereis this thing of how do I know that I don't want to be with a woman if I've never tried it? What about those times that I was extra curious about another girl I went to school with? I'm trying to tell myself that these things don't matter, but what if they do?

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I know how you feel.. it's an annoying feeling.

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[515]
Aug 13

Do any of you get the feeling that you would prefer to be alone for the rest of your life? I get that a lot lately, because even though I used to think about having a boyfriend (I'm a girl), now it feels impossible and I don't want to be with a woman so the only option is to be by myself forever. Does anyone else feel like that?

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[55010]
Aug 13

@scaredagain I've pretty much accepted that is already my life

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