I also used to have obsessions about the world ending, natur

[10745]

I also used to have obsessions about the world ending, natural disasters and death. I also bite my nails and have realised this must be a compulsion. I dated a girl online after she catfished me and continued it stupidly and I had no friends, low self esteem and wanted attention. I also liked L porn and would cyber sometimes with both guys and girls on omegle. I forgot about it all until last year and now it's eating me alive so our stories are similar I just worry because I haven't had many themes of OCD, sometimes I think i'd prefer another form of it, I could probably get off to girls boobs too as they were always sexualised and I used to watch lesbian youtubers and thoughts they were cute but I don't remember thinking I want it. Maybe I did. I also used to be interested in coming out videos when I was young just because they were emotional but I didn't really know about sexuality and stuff but that itself triggered something in me saying "what if I'm gay when I get older" so maybe that's when HOCD started. I've had girl crushes and found girls hot but never imagined relationships with them like I did with male celebrities. When I was about 12 I admired a girl on X factor but she was quite butch and lesbian so because of that I got thoughts of having a crush on her but idk if it's because I found it weird to like someone that was quite butch instead of girly. I also had the same situation with a tv character last year but that was after "HOCD" began so idk if I trust that. I've also had intrusive thoughts about liking friends but brushed them off. I then became friends again with one of those friends last year and thought I was in love with her but I was fine with her talking about other boys up until HOCD began so I think it was that. It's so hard to be around friends and enjoy their company without these thoughts. This is probably the worst story that proves I don't have HOCD obviously. You probably will all think I'm gay now. Maybe I am. Idk. I might've missed parts out.

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[1165]
Aug 19

@jdd has anyone told you they appreciate you . I appreciate you for what you've done for others

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[40170]
Aug 19

A few have, thanks. I don't think I've really helped that many because most of the time it seems like I'm just talking bs.

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[10745]
Aug 19

@Lucy123456 not really no.

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