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HOCD is OCD, not a sexual orientation crisis. The theme of t

HOCD is OCD, not a sexual orientation crisis. The theme of this OCD is homosexuality, and the fear is of the 'THOUGHT' of being gay, let me repeat the fear of the 'THOUGHT' of being gay. It is a hypothetical possibility that you're afraid of. Homosexuals who suffer with OCD, never obsess about their sexuality, but more other themes such as contamination. If they do obsess about sexuality it is the fear of turning straight. Yes gay people fear losing their sexual identities too!The trap with all this, is buying into the content theme, to try and gain certainty about your orientation. To drain away OCD's power, you have to play by OCD's rules, and what power you've given this you have to slowly drain away from it. There is a huge part of acceptance and resistance with this, ultimately you have a choice, do I resist and do a compulsion to temporarily lessen my anxiety, or do I accept the thoughts, feelings, urges etc. When people talk about acceptance in OCD, they're not saying accept that you're gay, or a paedophile etc, they're saying accept the 'possibility' that you might be. You're afraid of a hypothetical possibility not an ultimate truth. Not offering reassurance here, but how many times since suffering with this, have you interacted with homosexual sex or same sex relationships, I'm guessing the answer is zero. When you accept the possibility and face the fear head on, you can choice what you want and your behaviour in reaction to those internal experiences. Compulsions of checking responses and levels of attraction, are going to send you deeper down the rabbit hole, and make you more and more ill. There is lots of help out there, don't waste anymore of your life trapped in this cycle of torment!

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[380]
Jul 12

This is a great point, and one I discussed with my therapist. Take this concept on board, so like the football player, to end the doubts, anxiety, and depression associated with this obsession, you reach the end of your rope. You think the only way out of this is to accept it, and live a homosexual lifestyle. Now this question comes, after making this decision, is this the end of doubting, confusion, and anxiety? Now you're in a relationship with the same sex, still not really happy, and worst of all your attraction to the opposite sex has come back, the doubts continue, maybe I'm not gay or am I bisexual?You realise your doubts and anxiety have now morphed into a new area, is there really a resolution to this?There are no absolute truths to sexual orientation, but like Dr Steven Phillpson says, the sheer torment and terror raised at the question am I gay, is evidence that homosexuality isn't on the cards. Truly homosexual people are happy in their orientation and in their same sex relationships, people with OCD who fear the 'thought' of being gay, are really fearful of losing their identified heterosexual orientation and becoming something they don't want to be. Ultimately you don't want this, this is why it causes this reaction. Also, another area that feeds into this, is attraction. This can become confused, no matter what people are identified with as their sexual orientation, everyone is aware of beauty in both sexes, this is part of conditioning. We are drawn towards attractive objects, whatever that maybe. You're noticing good looking/attractive people of the same sex, maybe you have a tingling sensation in your groin, does this mean anything in relation to your orientation, not really. You have a fear of something, now it is primary focus, an obsession. Can you remember a time were you did not react like this, or have all these doubts?Why weren't they there then?

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[1150]
Jul 12

@WorriedHetero that guy didn’t sound gay though there have been people out there with hocd who ended up saying they were gay and left there wives and went with a guy and after a couple months found that they weren’t gay I know this I a stupid question but have you ever been so convinced you were gay?thags what happen with these people but will surely find out they are not gay in the end

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[380]
Jul 12

In OCD, people convince themselves of all kinds, and are trying to justify their thoughts. It 'feels' real, you've started to believe the narrative in your head, but it's a possibility, a could be, not an ultimate truth or fact. Your last statement rings true, if you're engaging with gay sex or relationships to end obsessive doubt, it's going to lead to more problems. All of this can be worked through, many people have come out the other side and are in health relationships, and rarely think about their sexualities.

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