HOCD ERP Diary 2: One of my Problems with ERP is that i kno

[610]

HOCD ERP Diary 2:
One of my Problems with ERP is that i know that my thoughts will go away again some day and i will live free for some days maybe weeks. But then they will come back. When i remember my exposures i did before, everytime my thoughts went away, they mostly came back questioning my exposures. Questons like "are you sure you went far enough with your exposures last time?", "Yes, you have been sure that you are not gay, but what if you just didnt dig deep enough to realize you are?"
So i ask myself "where is the limit?" When will i expose myself enough, so that my ocd wont have no uncertainty to latch on any more when it comes back? Is it when i'm directly confronted with the possibility to be intimate with someone of the same gender? If i expose myself to this scary situation and realize i dont want it, will my ocd still come back asking me "What if you didnt realize you are gay because you havent been with someone of the same gender?" If i decided to be intimate (more of a philosophical sentence, dont take it serious) and felt i dont like it, will my OCD come back asking "Maybe you just havent been in the right mood?" Where is the limit of the cycle? Is exposure of any help with this problem? Or will it become a problem itself?

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norseduncan's picture
[129900]
Apr 15

that is a tough question. OCD can be very difficult to deal with (I have OCD, but not HOCD). are you working with ERP with a therapist?

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[950]
Apr 17

@norseduncan hello I can’t afford erp I’m to scared what If I am gay I don’t want to be gay please reply and help me to expose without being scared

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norseduncan's picture
[129900]
Apr 17

@Cay12345 I don't have HOCD, but it is my belief that if you are gay, that you are born that way. if you like the opposite sex, but have these recurring thoughts that you are gay, that does not at all make you gay. it may mean you have HOCD, but not that you are homosexual. unfortunately since I don't have HOCD myself im not quite sure how to deal with it

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