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well here i am am alone, sad, depressed, and ashamed. I fou

[10]

well here i am am alone, sad, depressed, and ashamed. I found out that i have hsv 1 genital about a year ago. I didnt want to believe it and i still don't. I am only 21 years old and the third guy i have ever had sex with ruined my life forever. I have come to terms that i will be alone forever, for i could never tell a partner about my condition. I have pushed so many great guys away because of my cowardness. My heart literally breaks every time the thought of me having herpes crosses my mind. I already had very low self-esteem before this happen to me so you can just imagine how im feeling about myself now. My family and friends will sometimes have conversations about how "disgusting" it is or would be to have herpes and i just sit there and scream inside. Finding this support group has gave me a little comfort knowing that there are other people going through the same thing as me. So I am here looking for advice or ways to cope, and mostly to find inner peace. I just want to be able to accept this but i am having such a hard time doing so.

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[-25]
Aug 10

I don't have exactly the same condition but I'm going through something similar. It was really hard for me to accept it too because, just like you, I had no control over it. I try to remember that it doesn't define who you are. It's a part of you now but it's not everything. It shouldn't stop you to keep on moving on in your life and be happy. And i don't think you should call yourself coward because you're not ready to talk about it. also don't forget that you have a value. And people often talk **** about things they don't know. Most of the time they just repeat what they've heard. and i feel like being angry at the person who gave you that is normal but when all you're doing is blaming people you start to hate and think negative and you can't be happy. and i know how hard it is because i am still trying to find peace, even though i think i know how to do it but you know how it is. To me it's a long way but at the end you'll get there. and i hope i will too.

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sparkkyy's picture
[360]
Aug 10

o00...I am so sorry you feel this way about the disease. I really struggle with it as well. I have had it for 30 years, and so ashamed I have never told my family. and never will. But I want to tell you I have had many partners since and I tell them all - I would say 100% of the men still have sex with me. Please don't do this to yourself, be open to all opportunities, if they don't understand, it is because of ignorance. I think the statistics say that 1 in 10 people have it. it is very common. Please enjoy your life, it could be alot worse, I keep telling myself that anyways.

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[40]
Aug 17

I’m going thought the exact same thing as you, I’m also 21 and have basically the same story. My morale is especially low this week

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