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well here i am am alone, sad, depressed, and ashamed. I fou

[175]

well here i am am alone, sad, depressed, and ashamed. I found out that i have hsv 1 genital about a year ago. I didnt want to believe it and i still don't. I am only 21 years old and the third guy i have ever had sex with ruined my life forever. I have come to terms that i will be alone forever, for i could never tell a partner about my condition. I have pushed so many great guys away because of my cowardness. My heart literally breaks every time the thought of me having herpes crosses my mind. I already had very low self-esteem before this happen to me so you can just imagine how im feeling about myself now. My family and friends will sometimes have conversations about how "disgusting" it is or would be to have herpes and i just sit there and scream inside. Finding this support group has gave me a little comfort knowing that there are other people going through the same thing as me. So I am here looking for advice or ways to cope, and mostly to find inner peace. I just want to be able to accept this but i am having such a hard time doing so.

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sparkkyy's picture
[570]
Aug 29

thanks, I have a gf who says the same thing, she has cancer, and herpes is nothing in comparison. I do need to hear that attitude once in a while, I too have other issues, but I just feel so bad about myself when I think about it. wishing I could just turn back the clock..I don't have cancer tho. so that is a blessing. thank you for your reply.

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a_survivor's picture
[67125]
Aug 29

@sparkkyy
Thank YOU for being here and sharing & helping. time is so limited. count your blessing (as i'm sure you are!) and love your g/f with all you have! i hope others here see this!! all they are worried about is being able to have happy sex with another when there is a much LARGER meaning in this life! i am in a sexless marriage among other issues so i too am fighting my own demons besides that factor... i too am counting what blessing i do have... thanks for shedding light on the BIG picture and keep us all centered.

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sparkkyy's picture
[570]
Aug 29

BTW, my gf is just a friend (I am heterosexual). I certainly feel for you, as I was in a sexless marriage for 13 years. it was so difficult to finally get out. all the best for your situation. Life is short. sounds like we both know that.

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