Just found out yesterday. My head is all over the place. I'l

BuffBaby's picture
[200]

Just found out yesterday. My head is all over the place. I'll be honest, I always thought this was a nasty person's disease. I haven't been an angel but I'm usually careful. I don't have sex often but here I am. I feel different and even though I've told myself it doesn't change my life much it's all I can think about. I've ruled out kids, I was never been too fond of babies anyway but this seems like the nail in the proverbial coffin. I miss the moments before when I could be a bit naive about things but all I wanna do now is forget. I wish I didn't even have to think about it. I don't want anyone in my life to know. I just wish I could remove love and sex from my mind and vocabulary but all I can come back to is thinking about the "normal" life I can never have.

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[190]
May 16

Try not to live life so scripted. Do know that there are life changes that have to be made but do them in a way where it doesn't feel forced to you. When it comes to dating, there’s never really a perfect time to let someone know about your status. It’s something you have to decide. Too early is right when you meet someone and they barely know you. Too late is when you all are in the heat of the moment on the verge of intercourse. If you’ve been regularly dating someone you control the environment, the time, and the place to tell them. Just make sure you’re very clear and able to explain the virus to them if they seem off putted or confused. How they choose to react after that is up to them and is nothing you can control. So NEVER feel bad if you’ve disclosed your status to someone you were interested in and they now reject you. With the dating sites, they are great to converse with people that are in the same boat as you and possibly build romantic relationships with but don’t let those types of dating sites be the sole provider to your love life. You can talk to whoever you want, and have be involved with whoever you want whether you both share the same virus or not, you should just ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU DISCLOSE. Now I can say that early on with the virus in the first year you’re more prone to “outbreaks” which is also when you’re the most contagious. So if you're going through an outbreak avoid having any type of intercourse. But when your virus is in remission you can still be sexually active just every form of intercourse you do (anal,oral,etc.) be sure it’s protected. That will protect you and your partner. Hope this helps you.

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BuffBaby's picture
[200]
May 16

Thanks for the insight. I really am trying not to be melodramatic but it feels like I've been marked and now I can't exist the way I used to. Not to overshare but I'm now having yeast infection like symptoms and now every little thing that goes wrong I wonder if it's related to my HSV. Then, my doctor couldn't tell me if it was a new or old diagnosis. She told me it was never tested for when I got past STI checks. I'm not even sure what an "outbreak" looks like. What if I've had a million and never even knew??? Either way, your words really have helped put my mind at ease. When disclosing while dating do you worry if someone will "out" you? I feel like I could handle someone rejecting me but I feel like it would break me if someone would tell the world. Hell, I had thoughts about it before I knew. I would never be rude or tell but I would look at someone a certain way. I don't want someone looking at me like poor you ir even worse disgusting! But I do know I can't control what someone else thinks.

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[190]
May 16

Yeah it can never be determined when you got it and you have no control over malpractice of if it was tested before or not. The thing is you can have it and it be dormant. And with the outbreaks they very from person to person. But normally if you have a tingling sensation, burning, or itching those are normally signs of a outbreak. its honestly about knowing your body well enough to where you will know when something doesn't "feel right". Now when if comes to being outed honestly, its about how much trust you have in your partner. Of course for some people (including myself) having HSV2 feels like a secret you'd never want to tell anyone if you didn't have to. But morally you know you should. I naturally think of that outcome being a possibility when i tell a potential partner my status. and when i do i just always try to make sure i'm prepared for something like that if it happens. You can never predict someones next moves after you disclose to them you just have to ensure you know this person well enough that you trust they wouldn't "disrespect" you that way. Just make sure you're confident enough in your status and knowledgeable of it. That will help make sure you're prepared if something like that ever happens to you.

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