I'm still trying to understand this virus and of course why

[1965]

I'm still trying to understand this virus and of course why and how did I get so **** lucky???? I found out I had HSV-2 and I know who I got it from. Just because he feels like he has never had an outbreak that he didn't have it. I've never cheated and haven't had many sexual partners at all (I can count on one hand). This guy is the only person I've had unprotected sex with. After being diagnosis, I started thinking back and as I done research, I can just about pin point when I got infected or had my first outbreak. It wasn't the classic horrible outbreak so I didn't think much of it. It was approximately 2-3 weeks after I had sex with my ex (who has cheated on me). Before that I have never had anything down in that area. And I'm a person that will take a mirror and look on a regular. My ex and I have a very long history together with 2 kids. At the time I found out he wasn't my ex but he seem not to care when I told him. He said that maybe the test was wrong because he's never had anything like that down there. Even after doing research and learning a lot more about this virus sometimes I question myself. Could I have received this virus when I was in college and never had signs. I would think I would have had an outbreak or something. I try to stay in tune with my body. It's funny I've never had any symptoms but started having them a few weeks after having sex with my him.

I'm super pissed because I feel like I'm stuck and will never move on to find a healthy relationship because I have to disclosed this little secret that carries some much negativity. I've asked him to get tested and he acted like he was. One of our health departments doesn't do blood testing for HSV they only swab a sore. That was surprising to me. I told him to ask his doctor to test him. He said that they done a STD test and it was negative. As I've learned and try to tell him that HSV isn't always included. I asked him if they performed that test get a copy of the results and show me. He has yet to do that. I know in my heart but I want confirmation.

I just found out that he is on a cruise with another girl and i guess is moving on with his life. But was just at my house bagging and pleading to get his family back a few days before. Wouldn't you want to know your status if your ex told you this type of information. Especially when he know the type of person I am and knows I don't sleep around or promiscuious?

I just want closure?

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[1965]
Mar 21

@lisajd Yes I know sex is risky and but when you try to trust someone and they are not honest with you. They put you at risk unknowingly. It hurts and for me it has mentally and emotional scared me forever. This guy was my first everything. He is all I've ever know. I don't know nothing else. I've never been in a relationship with anyone else. So yes it has done something to me. At last I think okay I'm over you and it's time for me to explorer and find someone that want and appreciate me and I'm hit with this. I feel stuck in one place now.
I'm doing all the research I can to learn and understand this virus so I will be educated And be able to educate others especially my two beautiful daughters. I'm in therapy to help me cope with this. The fact that he is acting silly and won't get test is irritating because he knows he has to have it. I'm learning.

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[35]
Mar 21

I found out I had it in 2010 after finding out I called my bf to come for me at work cause I worked at the hospital at the time. I was not angry at him I just felt stupid. I ask him and he didn't answer n it was silent ride home and we never spoke about smh but I just forgave him and a couple months after we broke up at least I left not because of the herpes but I was jus tired of being stupid. Its not d end of the world though I live my life

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[172370]
Mar 21

Yeah its not the end of the world. And sometimes you think a guy is your Prince Charming and when you leave that guy and meet someone else you will see that he wasn't the one

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