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I tend to exaggerate things a lot...cognitive distortions th

jewantme's picture
[680]

I tend to exaggerate things a lot...cognitive distortions they call it. I make statements about myself that I believe to be true but that aren't actually based on actual fact. I think living with Herpes for so long sometimes does this to us. We start to over-generalize. We make comments to ourselves about "no one ever accepting us," "no one ever loving us," "we are losers, "we are worthless," "we are xxx..." We have a lot of regret, remorse and we make unfair comparisons like "my life would be better if I didn't have herpes," "I'd have found the love of my life if i didn't have herpes” “I’d be married with kids if I didn’t have herpes.” Of course there’s also the what if game we play…”if I only …”

We reject any evidence or arguments that might contradict our negative thoughts. We constantly measure ourselves according to some arbitrary standards and find that we always come up short. These evaluations and opinions I speak of are not fact based. I was reminded of this last night as I was speaking candidly with a peer and I wanted to write this to you all as you are probably struggling with some of the same issues as I am. We are all very hard on ourselves as it is, but we can’t lose site of the fact that there are indeed friends and family out there that will stand by our side no matter what we tell them (even if it is that we have an incurable skin condition). The people that are mean and ugly and judge us for what we have, do we really want them in our lives anyway? These are all the questions I sit and ponder every day as I myself am practicing more and more self love and acceptance. Some of you are better and faster at it than I am, but for those of you who are newly being diagnosed, please be kind to yourself.

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a_survivor's picture
[82535]
Aug 14

Very nicely put! thank you!

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enking3's picture
[12105]
Sep 29

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!! SO REFRESHING TO SEE OTHERS FINALLY COMING BACK AROUND TO A NEW AND BETTER THEM!!!!!

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[40]
Sep 30

cannot thank you enough for posting this. thank you 1000x

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