I recently found out my daughter has genital herpes, she is

[80]

I recently found out my daughter has genital herpes, she is 18. I am so devastated for her and what the future holds. All I do is find myself crying, unable to breath and not sleeping. This is her first outbreak and that is how we found out. I am trying to be so supportive but I am truly so, so angry. I know I can't change this but I need help getting past the anger. I tell my husband I do not think I will ever get past this. She is heading off to college soon and I am terrified that she will have more outbreaks while being away from home due to stress. I just don't know what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated, please

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[80]
Aug 12

Thank you!

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[150]
Aug 12

I haven't shared the info with partners yet. At times I feel like I will be rejected by anyone I really like, but then i also think that the girl I got it from told me and I was careful with protection etc. but still chose to be with her. I wish I had thought it out more beforehand but obviously I took a chance being with someone who has it so I should think that someone else will do the same, especially if we have a stronger relationship than I had with her. But to be honest, it will take awhile for me to get that confidence up. Confidence in regular dating situations is hard enough but when you have the added strain of this in your mind, it's even harder.

I do know that my dad being very understanding and not breaking down helped alot. It sounds silly for a 30something to be afraid to tell his dad, but I was. He didn't yell, didn't cry with me, didn't accuse me of making a mistake. I already knew I had. Being stable and reassuring was the best thing he could have done. The stronger you can be and the more support you can give, the better off your daughter will be. Chances are she won't have constant outbreaks and it won't affect her that much.
Being in a new environment and dealing with this will be tough but it's also a great situation because she can immerse herself in school, making friends, studying etc. Keeping my brain occupied with things other than HSV is one of the most effective things I can do, and going into college will definitely keep her occupied. My guess is that she will be super busy and having a great experience in the next few months and will just need some support from time to time and you'll be the solid, loving mother to give it to her.

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Henrietta606's picture
[7650]
Aug 13

I understand you're angry because this is your little girl. How is she doing with all this? I never told anyone but my doctor and any bf's I thought I'd become intimate with. My best suggestion is to educate yourself on H, the more you know about it, the calmer you'll feel. It's not the end of life, but just the beginning of a new way of living....

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