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I need advise - I recently had a sexual encounter with a man

[100]

I need advise - I recently had a sexual encounter with a man I very much care about (no sex, just manual stuff). We have been friends for at least 2 years prior to us "fooling around" and he was well aware of my situation and was very supportive PRIOR to our sexual encounter. Since we've fooled around, he's now contracted it and is furious with me. Even though he was fully aware of what I had, he is accusing me of "taking advantage" of him (he was dealing with a depressive episode when we fooled around). I feel absolutely horrible and feel responsible for destroying another person's life. I don't know how to respond to him anymore. I've apologized over and over again and have told him that I care very much about him (however he doesn't seem to feel the same way about me). It's just killing me inside. HELP!

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[100]
Jun 12

@JimmyG I have extreme empathy for him because I know exactly what it's like and have been extremely supportive. The difference is he had a choice and I didn't. And he has no desire to be with me. Some history: When we 1st became friends, we realized we both liked each other, however he indicated he was in no position to be dating at the moment as he deals with sever manic depressive episodes and "didn't want to put me through that" or "hurt me". However I found out a couple weeks later that he was actually seeing someone.. so clearly he was in a position to be dating but couldn't be honest with me and tell me he just didn't want to date me. I brought it up to him, and he said there were too many "complications" for us to date (the list was long). We continued to be friends after that. He usually only reaches out to me when he's feeling really down and needs an ego boost because he knows how I feel about him. Well, naturally he reached out to me, invited me over, and one thing led to another, and now were here. It was mutual masturbation yes. Hands were only used, which is why were both so puzzled on how he got it. He does actually have oral, I found out (which he didn't tell me about btw), but everything was just hands. He now has been diagnosed with Sacral Herpes (herpes on his lower back).

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[5495]
Jun 12

I really think he didn't catch anything from you....if he touched your open lesions and then stuck his fingers in his mouth , yes, its possible ...but I doubt it...herpes doesn't last long in the open air...that's why its almost skin rubbing right against skin...you also cant get it through the skin on palms or feet..it almost always a mucous membrane...inside of mouth and genital...he's hurt. he's pissed...give him a minute to deal with this...but I really don't think he caught it from you

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[100]
Jun 12

@JimmyG hmm something to think about. The timing all worked out so it just made sense it was from me. Maybe I'm catching heat for something that wasn't from me. In any case, it doesn't fix anything now... and he's in no head space to discuss this right now anyways. He's angry and hurt and I completely understand.

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