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I have genital herpes for almost 8 years now. For most of th

[10]

I have genital herpes for almost 8 years now. For most of the years, when I get an outbreak, I don't really like to look at it. But lately (the past 2-3 outbreaks), I try to notice it more. I notice that the sore moved a little (a few centimeters). It is in the same area/side of my genital, but it just moved a little. Does anyone have the same experience?

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[15]
Aug 20

I've had it for 18 yrs now and I just turned 38 yrs old I'm struggling so badly my self esteem and confidence are very low I'm a beautiful person inside and outside but I have this dirty secret that noone can know and for that I have no relationships in my life for I can't truly be myself as I'm suffering Im hoping to get support or advice on where I can go to meet people that have it to it think it's important for me to open up and I can't do it by myself cause my thoughts over power when I'm always alone and single .

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I_HAVE_H's picture
[4555]
Aug 20

@Brandy38
You are not alone on this quest. Remain positive. You had this condition longer than a lot of folks in here (me included), and continued to move fwd. I understand you 100%. Just to come over and open up about it give others the prospective of knowing that life continues. And yes you and all of us, are awesome people.

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jewantme's picture
[395]
Aug 20

@Brandy38 I have a similar story. I have had this this virus since 2004 and kept it a secret until about 5 years ago. I am a highly educated person and I waited until after I graduated from college to even have sex for the 1st time. I was always careful and was in a monogamous relationship when I contracted the virus (the 2nd person i ever slept with). With all these things hanging over my head I felt ashamed and embarrassed and carried around a lot of guilt blaming myself for being stupid enough to let something like this happen. My self-esteem plummeted and I carried the weight of this secret all by myself thinking I could manage it alone. I didn't want to tell anyone. It wasn’t until 2014 (I think) that I had a VERY negative encounter with an ignorant male that made me feel SO horrible about myself that I literally just wanted to die. It just so happened (and in hindsight all things happened for a reason) that my insurance company called me randomly to do a wellness check and asked me behavioral questions. As I was talking to this complete stranger I broke down in tears. She didn’t know why, but based on that phone call they intervened and I sought counseling. The only reason I am telling you this story is because after I started talking about it more and getting my feelings out in the open I learned how to cope with it better and manage it better. I wasn’t even able to say that I have Herpes until just recently. Sometimes just talking to strangers (like here) is a great start. By being knowledgeable about what we have and how to manage it is a powerful tool so that when faced with ignorant people (like the guy I went out with back in 2014) I could have stood up for myself rather than sit there and let him belittle me. I have come a long way in the past few years and wish I had taken this step many years ago. I guess I just wasn’t ready. Maybe you too, like me are just now realizing that it’s your time to start living again and not let this virus stand in the way of YOUR happiness. you WILL find your way. we all do.

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