I found out last week that my butt rash tested positive for

I found out last week that my butt rash tested positive for the herpes virus and it is a bit of a hard pill to swallow. My partner was supportive when I went to the doctor and awaiting the results but when I told him that I tested positive all support went out the window and his response was I guess I need to go get tested and told me this stressed him out and he wanted to be left alone. He failed to realize that I too was going through all this as well. Feel very alone and just want to be surrounded by positive, supportive people.

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(90)
Nov 27

Hi Flower! I decided to come on here today even though I have HPV genital warts. I figured I could shed some light on how your partner may be feeling. Today was a lot for me...my bf realized his symptoms align about entirely with HSV-1. He's getting tested in a day or two. I support him through & through even if he tests positive. Still, today I wanted to be left alone. I expressed how scared I was (especially since I was lied to and given HPV by a previous partner...in the process of suing him for that...so my STD trauma is already quite large.) Your partner expressed feelings of wanting to go get tested and being scared only because he is afraid for himself. Being afraid for himself doesn't mean he doesn't support you! When you got the positive back, all support did not go out the window; it is a lot for the both of you to process, just in different ways. Can you tell me how he "shunned" you? If not, that's okay :) Just want to let you know I am here for you and understand in different ways. Also, I spoke to a friend who has HSV-1 and he said Aquaphor helps for calming the area but valacyclovir is a medical treatment. Will be thinking of you <3

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(40)
Nov 29

Hi thank you for you kind words. My bf was not and has not supported me what so ever since my positive diagnosis. His words after I spoke to him is he needs to be alone as he is depressed and has his anxiety again and will need to see is counselor...as well he stated he was drinking again. Asked him if we were over and he said he needs to be alone and I told him to give me a straight up answer so he than stated yes we are done. I tried to follow up to see how he was doing and he was cold...so I have deleted him from my life. I find his reaction was quite selfish...I get he's scared but if he would have rationally chatted with me than we could have figured stuff out like two adults but I think he is more broken than I am. At the end of the day there is so much stigma and misinformed information about herpes but it is not a death sentence...just a situation that has to be dealt with. I was always diligent with my partners and I will never know who gave me this. I can't stop my life...there is going to be someone out there who will love me beyond this I am hoping. So sorry for all that has happened to you.

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lifeoflola's picture
(135)
Nov 30

@flower44
I'm sorry your partner couldn't handle what you were going through or could be supportive to you through it. Staying positive I've learned is the best for me. I have had to disclose my diagnosis to one person as of yet and he was so nice and understanding. I believe you'll find someone that will be completely supportive of you regardless of this diagnosis. I'm here for you and cheering you on.

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