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I AM USUALLY THE "HAPPY GO LUCKY" TYPE, AND I USUALLY DON'T

enking3's picture
[5850]

I AM USUALLY THE "HAPPY GO LUCKY" TYPE, AND I USUALLY DON'T LIKE TO POST MY "BAD DAYS" .....BUT I REMEMBER I SAID THAT I WAS GOING TO BE TRANSPARENT ABOUT MY UPS AND DOWNS....SO HERE IT GOES....THERE IS A GUY THAT I REALLLLLLY LIKE, AND WE SORT OF KIND OF WORK TOGETHER (HE'S AN OFFICER, AND I AM A DISPATCHER). WE MET A YEAR AGO IN OCTOBER AND FROM THAT MOMENT ON, WE HAD KEPT IN CONTACT, WE'VE GONE OUT, HE'S MET MY DAUGHTER, AND YES WE HAVE BEEN INTIMATE. HE IS VERY MUCH AWARE OF MY SITUATION, AND KNOWS (MOST) OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH, SO THE FACT HE HUNG AROUND, WAS A MYSTERY TO ME....HE IS ALSO 5 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME AND HAS NO KIDS. IT'S A RARE FIND TO COME ACROSS SOMEONE IN THEIR EARLY 20'S WITH A CAREER (NOT JUST A JOB) AND CAN ACTUALLY SEE PAST MY FLAWS. HE IS AWARE THAT I HAVE HERPES AND I TOLD HIM BEFORE WE WERE EVER INTIMATE, AND SAYS THAT HE FOUND ME EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE DUE TO MY HONESTY........A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO I WENT TO HIS HOUSE, AND WE WERE HAVING "THE BEST" TIME.....WE SAT OUT ON HIS BALCONY WITH DRINKS, TALKED ABOUT WORK, LOOKED AT SOME PICS OF HE AND HIS OTHER COP BUDDIES AND LAUGHED......UP UNTIL I SAW A TEXT COME ACROSS HIS PHONE...I'M ALMOST CERTAIN IT READ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"...THE TEXT CAME THROUGH AT AROUND MIDNIGHT....AND WE ALL KNOW THAT THOSE ARE NOT NORMAL CONVERSING HOURS. I IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN AND JUST STOPPED TALKING....MY WHOLE MOOD SHIFTED....I WAS ACTUALLY HOPING TO STAY THE NIGHT, CUDDLE AND YES GET INTIMATE....BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN....INSTEAD HE ASKED "WHAT'S WRONG" ABOUT 5 TIMES BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED, AND THEN GATHERED HIS TRASH UP TO WALK ME BACK DOWNSTAIRS TO MY CAR......I STORMED OUT INSTEAD AND BEAT HIM TO IT......SINCE THEN, HE HAS BEEN "EXTREMELY SHORT" WITH ME, EVEN THOUGH HE SAYS HE IS "OK" AND NOT UPSET.....I'VE SINCE APOLOGIZED, SINCE HE SENT ME A LONG MESSAGE AFTER I LEFT...I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL...I HAVE BEEN CRYING NON STOP...I'M AT WORK NOW FIGHTING BACK TEARS!!! I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR OVER 10YEARS, I HAVE GONE THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER WITH EX'S FROM SATIN HIMSELF AND HAD TO DEAL WITH THEIR KNOW IT ALL GIRLFRIENDS....I AM TOTALLY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS, AND I JUST FEEL NUMB.....

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tidaldave82's picture
[1755]
10 hours ago

@Lisa1984 Very true! The symptoms may not be obvious and may never come to the surface!

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[535]
9 hours ago

@tidaldave82 am not good today i have a very bad headache with flu like symptoms

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tidaldave82's picture
[1755]
1 hour ago

@Lisa1984 that sounds horrid for you. The HSV is one thing to manage but its fluey symptoms are another. I hope it passes for you soon

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