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I am feeling very alone. I dont date anymore and the idea of

I am feeling very alone. I dont date anymore and the idea of dating makes me depressed and sad. I am lonely and what am I supposed to do? I am not the type of person to conceal the fact that I have herpes, yet I am afraid of how guys will react if I am open about it. The last person I told, stopped communication with me. I cried that night like I've never cried before. I then became depressed and stopped eating as much as I normally do. I pick myself up every day and take care of my children alone as a single mom, and it's hard. The idea of a partner in a relationship or even marriage just makes me sad, cry, and deppressed. I've now known that I have herpes for 2 and half years now. I'm so sad because I am alone and I am alone because I feel like nobody would want me despite all of the great qualities that I have. I am reaching out for support and am going to go to counseling to hopefully work on myself and heal from the emotional pain I've endured.

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 3
a_survivor's picture
[76610]
Jun 10

@QualityofLife20:
Dear [Insert Your Name Here],

I want you to know that you are the same beautiful person that you have always been. This does not define you. HSV is a common condition caused by a virus that has a bad stigma attached to it. This is unfortunately kept alive today due to how uneducated our society is about hsv. I would never want you to feel that you are what the stigma represents because that couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, this is a life changing situation, but I know that you are strong enough to handle it. Life hasn’t been easy and there will still be more battles that we have to face, but you will survive and carry on.

I truly believe that this will not stop you from being happy. It may change your dating aspect in life, but it may even be for the better. Having this may help you “weed out” certain individuals you just wouldn't want to be with. For example, someone that judges those for having this, someone who you couldn’t trust with keeping your diagnosis private, someone who only want sex, and so on. So aside from compatibility, you now keep these things in mind and qualities like trust and open-mindedness can be a great foundation for a relationship.

If its the dating part of life that is really bothering you now, don't worry, you will find someone who loves you for you. Most importantly, I want you to love YOU. You need to know that this does not make you any less of a person. Never ever feel that you need to settle for someone because they are okay with you having HSV2 and you are afraid that you won’t find another to accept you, you will. You are an amazing person and there are tons of people out there that would be willing to accept you for you and everything that comes with you. Please do not ever limit yourself because of this.

Besides the change in dating, you may face other changes. Changes in your diet or lifestyle may need to be done in order to prevent or limit outbreaks. This will be a whole new learning process in itself, but you will find what works best for you. It will take time, patience, research, and lots of trial and error, but you will do it. Above all, it will take acceptance. As cheesy as this may sound, you must accept this for yourself before anything else.

We never chose to have hsv...but it happened. Now we can only move forward. How we choose to do so is up to us...Take back control of your life. Don't let the stigma define you...WE ARE NOT THE STIGMA.

In closing, remember, knowledge is power, and power is confidence! Learning to accept yourself with HSV will free you from the burden of needing to be accepted.

read and study this link posted above:
https://westoverheights.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Updated-Herpes-Bo...

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Reply
[250]
Jun 12

@a_survivor
You always give the best advice. Thank you!

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I have also known for 2.5 years!! I’m a single mom as well... I got on this site when I first found out and cried everyday.. I was depressed and gained a lot of weight and now I’m finally getting back happy but I want a relationship.. everyone runs away when I tell them, or they love me if I don’t... but I can’t hide it. I feel you girl and I hope we get through this and find great men

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