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Hi In November I slept with an old mate and had a few weird

[45]

Hi In November I slept with an old mate and had a few weird symptoms after. I went to the doctor assuming it was maybe Chlmydia or something and was shocked and horrified when she said there were sores and she was sure it was herpes, but did a swab to check. I got my results a week later as having HSV 2. I told the guy but he felt bad but has no signs and doesn’t have it.

Since then I’ve felt so disgusting and unattractive in every way.

This week I FINALLY felt okay to date again and typically woke up that morning with my second episode. Then to top it off on the date (which went really well) somehow herpes came up and he was saying how gross it would be if you went to have sex with someone and they had it, and how it’s really scary that you can not know you had it etc etc.

Safe to say once again I feel unattractive and embarrassed.

Comment
 2
a_survivor's picture
[76580]
Mar 15

@Kikii123:
I want you to know that you are the same beautiful person that you have always been. This does not define you. HSV is nothing but a common skin condition caused by a virus that has a bad stigma attached to it. This is unfortunately kept alive today due to how uneducated our society is about hsv. I would never want you to feel that you are what the stigma represents because that couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, this is a life changing situation, but I know that you are strong enough to handle it. Life hasn’t been easy and there will still be more battles that we have to face, but you will survive and carry on.

I truly believe that this will not stop you from being happy. It may change your dating aspect in life, but it may even be for the better. Having this may help you “weed out” certain individuals you just wouldn't want to be with. For example, someone that judges those for having this, someone who you couldn’t trust with keeping your diagnosis private, someone who only want sex, and so on. So aside from compatibility, you now keep these things in mind and qualities like trust and open-mindedness can be a great foundation for a relationship.

If its the dating part of life that is really bothering you now, don't worry, you will find someone who loves you for you. Most importantly, I want you to love YOU. You need to know that this does not make you any less of a person. Never ever feel that you need to settle for someone because they are okay with you having HSV2 and you are afraid that you won’t find another to accept you, you will. You are an amazing person and there are tons of people out there that would be willing to accept you for you and everything that comes with you. Please do not ever limit yourself because of this.

Besides the change in dating, you may face other changes. Changes in your diet or lifestyle may need to be done in order to prevent or limit outbreaks. This will be a whole new learning process in itself, but you will find what works best for you. It will take time, patience, research, and lots of trial and error, but you will do it. Above all, it will take acceptance. As cheesy as this may sound, you must accept this for yourself before anything else.

We never chose to have hsv...but it happened. Now we can only move forward. How we choose to do so is up to us...Take back control of your life. Don't let the stigma define you...WE ARE NOT THE STIGMA.

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enking3's picture
[9540]
Mar 16

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT TO THINGS THEY HAVE NO INFORMATION OR CLUE ON....TRY NOT TO TAKE IT TO HEART TOO MUCH. HE SPOKE WITHOUT THINKING, AND OBVIOUSLY HAS NOOOOOOO IDEA JUST HOW COMMON IT IS. I MEAN, HECK NONE OF US REALLY CARED TO LEARN HOW RAMPANT IT WAS UNTIL WE GOT STUCK WITH IT....LOL....HE MAY FEEL LIKE A TOTAL **** AFTER/IF YOU DISCLOSE, BUT THAT IS WHAT I CALL A "LEARNING/TEACHING" OPPORTUNITY. YOU CAN ENLIGHTEN HIM ON THE VIRUS AND HOW IT AFFECTS YOU BOTH PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. HE WILL EITHER BE RECEPTIVE AND STICK BY YOU ....OR REVEAL JUST HOW BIG OF A **** HE REALLY IS.....EITHER WAY, YOU ARE STILL THE GRAND OLD PERSON YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE'S VALIDATION FOR THAT!! :)

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