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Hello. Not only did I inherit my late husband's money, but

Hello. Not only did I inherit my late husband's money, but he left me with another legacy - herpes. I contracted it about 2 months before he died. This was over 30 years ago and I have only ever had 2 brief relationships since and have been clinically depressed, pouring all my energies into bring up our two children alone. I'm 60 now, and was recently chatted up by a colleague and we went out for a drink. It was so lovely to be flirted with again and he did absolute wonders for my self-esteem and awakened long forgotten feelings. Anyway, things got passionate and I felt I owed it to him to mention my affliction before anything intimate happened. Even though it has been dormant for over 20 years I know it is still in my system. He got scared and our very brief relationship is over. I am absolutely devastated as I felt we could have had some fun. How do you all cope with the thought of being alone for ever? I was always a tactile and loving person, and have never given up hope of finding someone else, but after this eposide I am wondering if I will ever have sex again. It's killing me.

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a_survivor's picture
Feb 24, 2018

there is really nobody to blame here. honor his choice and move on... it's why i and another agree that divulging is not necessary too early. date first, see if there's any merit/depth first. i ALWAYS stalled, procrastinated, and prolonged any sex until it became a deal breaker.... don't be your worst enemy!

Feb 25, 2018

Sound advice. Thank you. There is definitely nobody to blame and each day that passes is easier to move on from my colleagues decision.

Mar 13, 2018

@Westonian I think facts are your best friend here...this isn't a serious disease, and you can use suppressive drugs and condoms that cut the risk down substantially. If he's interested in you, this shouldn't stop him from having a fulfilling relationship. Even if you don't use condoms, and use valtrex daily, the risk of transmission is 5% per year if you don't have sex when you have an outbreak. If he thinks you are a good person he shouldn't throw all that away over this diagnosis.


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