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Hello. Not only did I inherit my late husband's money, but

Hello. Not only did I inherit my late husband's money, but he left me with another legacy - herpes. I contracted it about 2 months before he died. This was over 30 years ago and I have only ever had 2 brief relationships since and have been clinically depressed, pouring all my energies into bring up our two children alone. I'm 60 now, and was recently chatted up by a colleague and we went out for a drink. It was so lovely to be flirted with again and he did absolute wonders for my self-esteem and awakened long forgotten feelings. Anyway, things got passionate and I felt I owed it to him to mention my affliction before anything intimate happened. Even though it has been dormant for over 20 years I know it is still in my system. He got scared and our very brief relationship is over. I am absolutely devastated as I felt we could have had some fun. How do you all cope with the thought of being alone for ever? I was always a tactile and loving person, and have never given up hope of finding someone else, but after this eposide I am wondering if I will ever have sex again. It's killing me.

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a_survivor's picture
[64255]
Feb 24

@Westonian
there is really nobody to blame here. honor his choice and move on... it's why i and another agree that divulging is not necessary too early. date first, see if there's any merit/depth first. i ALWAYS stalled, procrastinated, and prolonged any sex until it became a deal breaker.... don't be your worst enemy!

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[280]
Feb 25

Sound advice. Thank you. There is definitely nobody to blame and each day that passes is easier to move on from my colleagues decision.

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[4395]
Mar 13

@Westonian I think facts are your best friend here...this isn't a serious disease, and you can use suppressive drugs and condoms that cut the risk down substantially. If he's interested in you, this shouldn't stop him from having a fulfilling relationship. Even if you don't use condoms, and use valtrex daily, the risk of transmission is 5% per year if you don't have sex when you have an outbreak. If he thinks you are a good person he shouldn't throw all that away over this diagnosis.

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