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Hi everybody, I'm not too sure where to begin. It's so much

Qu1f1re's picture
[8730]

Hi everybody, I'm not too sure where to begin. It's so much carp going on with me. I have no one to talk to. I'm a active drug user going on eight years now. I'm in a domestic violence relationship with the father of my 14 month old son with whom I live with. He doesn't use but enables me to the fullest and at the same time he bashes me and verbally abuses me. He will call me every wrong name in the book, tells me im a horrible mother to my son and just thinks of me as his babysjtter. He tells me everyday he stopped loving and caring for me and regrets me. The only good thing that has ever came from me is my son. He says I bring more hardship to our family then good. The dogs are smarter then me. I bring nothing to our family table but problems.
I'm a stay at home mom while he owns his own construction business. I'm not allowed to leave his house at all. The last time I went somewhere in the car was January 29. We live in farm land so going for daily walks with my son in his stroller is (to him) completely forbidden . He moved me a hour away from My family And Wont Let my son and i visit my MOm because He SAid , he Doesnt want ME To Have Any COntact WIth Any Of MY Family MEmbers From NOw On.
I Want To Pack Up And Leave So Bad, But i Cant Because I Would Be leaving My Son Here With Him. I'm not able to take my son with me because we had a CPS case that was closed and I didn't complete that whole process because he left me at his house while he went to court so it looked bad upon me and now my parental rights are temporarily stopped. And what makes all matters worse is I found out on January 20 that he has a whole double family life. For these whole 3 years I've been seeing him , it was all just a big lie. He actually is the biggest liar I have ever met in all of my 38 years of living. Right after my son was born he would argue with me and kick me out of his house and on 01/20 I found out he purposly started those Argument between Us JUst So He Could MAke mE Leave And THen moved In THat Other FEmale And Had her WAtching My Son. Then I Could only GUess When He Got Tired Of Her , he Made Her Leave Then Brought Me Back. He Did THat like Three Times FRom January - may. And He HAs No Idea I Know Anything About HIs Double Life And Will Still Lie To Me Til This Day And Swear hes A GReat GUy.! I Have No One To Talk To BUt My Son and my bull terrier dog. I'm so miserable and unhappy. And every night when I have to get in bed with him is the worst. I feel like I'm being raped by someone I know, someone I was supposed to trust
I'm sorry everyone, I guess I'm just venting. Thank you everyone who took the time to read this. Bye my Support group family.!

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Qu1f1re's picture
[8730]
Jul 12

Hi reflexon I could of sworn I replied back to your comment a long time ago. But thank you so much for showing compassion to me. I was actually coming on here to make a new post about my situation now. I hope you see it and take the time to read it. I would love to hear hour feedback.! I hope all is well on hour neck of the woods. Take care my friend bye.!

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Mandasanchez's picture
[510]
Jul 18

@Qu1f1re I can tell you from being an addict that when a person with addiction doesn’t want soberity it won’t happen. They have to be ready an want to stop so until then keep your faith & hope !! It took me 8 years before I got clean an my parents wasted time an money sending me to rehabs cause I stood sober for that time but the minute I came out I was right back you can force some one to stop it has to come within in.

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Qu1f1re's picture
[8730]
Jul 23

@Mandasanchez thanks mandasanchez. Yes I know it is hard work.fitbit will be worth it at the end.

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