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I must admit I'm struggling with a lot of guilt at the momen

I must admit I'm struggling with a lot of guilt at the moment. It was my idea to go out that night when the accident happened. I'm the one who called the ambulance and he died just when they arrived.
I know that I couldn't know something like that would happen but if I had suggested to stay at home or if I had called just a few seconds earlier he would have survived. I could have prevented it... I know that blaming myself isn't helpful and I don't wanna feel like this  but it is the truth and there's nothing anyone could say to change that

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mal-ia.'s picture
[655]
Mar 16

@Anella thank you for the comment I think you kind of get it :) but I don't know if I know that it wasn't my fault I don't even know if it was or not but even if I did I'm not the one in control of my emotions I can't just tell myself to stop the way I'm feeling so I hope one day it will just stop...

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Haunted2's picture
[45010]
Mar 16

Ecclesiastes.
Chapter 3.
A time to be born...
A time to die ...
when their time came they
were not alone...
they were blessed with you
by their side...

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Anella's picture
[15170]
Mar 18

@mal-ia.
I'm including the stages of grief. When you read it, I think you will see the similarities between how you're feeling and what is listed. The feeling of guilt is a part of the stages of grief. Eventually, it'll pass but until then I'm here for you. I got the information from a brochure called "When Someone You Love Dies". If you're interested, I can give you the link to download a copy at no cost. This brochure did more than help me. It continues to help me as I still read parts of it. Also, it has shown me how to help others who are grieving. Let me know if you're interested in the link. Either way, keep in touch because I'm here for you.

The Grieving Process
The word “process” does not imply that grief has any fixed schedule or program. Grief reactions can overlap and take varying lengths of time, depending on the individual. This list is not complete. Other reactions may also be manifested. The following are some of the symptoms of grief that one might experience.

Early reactions: Initial shock; disbelief, denial; emotional numbness; guilt feelings; anger.

Acute grief may include: Memory loss and insomnia; extreme fatigue; abrupt changes of mood; flawed judgment and thinking; bouts of crying; appetite changes, with resultant weight loss or gain; a variety of symptoms of disturbed health; lethargy; reduced work capacity; hallucinations​—feeling, hearing, seeing the deceased; in the loss of a child, irrational resentment of your spouse.

Leveling-off period: Sadness with nostalgia; more pleasant memories of the deceased, even tinged with humor.

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