So I've been married to a man for 4&1/2 years now. But I've

cjb25's picture
[285]

So I've been married to a man for 4&1/2 years now. But I've always been sexually attracted to girls. I was emotionally attracted to men so I thought I was bisexual and I thought I could be with men. But no matter what I can't enjoy sex without thinking of women. He has also been emotionally and psychologically abusive throughout our marriage. He knows that I am attracted to women and he makes a point of using homophobic slurs in front of me. It is to the point that having sex with him makes me physically sick. But we have a daughter now and I'm terrified that my being a lesbian will hurt my chances of custody because I live in Alabama and people are very homophobic here. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be stuck in this marriage, but I don't want to lose my baby.

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camio's picture
[2450]
Jan 14

You have quite a conflict there, don't you? I sympathize. If you were living with another woman, it's unlikely that a court in Alabama would consider that a fit home for a young girl. Too bad. Although maybe they might go so far as to give you shared custody? i don't know. But if you will be happier as a person, and in view of the fact that your husband is emotionally abusive and sex with him now makes you physically ill, I would strongly suggest that for your own mental health you break up with your husband, no matter what the consequences to the relationship with your daughter, and find a woman you can be happy with. Yes, you will be hurting for the loss of your baby, but something always has to be sacrificed somewhere along the line. No situation is perfect. For you to stay with your husband just for the sake of your daughter would not be a good way to raise a child.

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cjb25's picture
[285]
Jan 14

@camio I see your reasoning, but if you ever had a child you would understand. Nothing matters to me more than my daughter. Nothing. I would not want to live without her. I love her far more than my own life. And I will not leave her to be raised by a man I know to be emotionally and psychologically abusive. Plus I know he will force her into a strict, homophobic, misogynistic religion. And I won't allow that either. Thank you for your input. But what you suggest is not possible for me.

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