So I've been married to a man for 4&1/2 years now. But I've

cjb25's picture
[1265]

So I've been married to a man for 4&1/2 years now. But I've always been sexually attracted to girls. I was emotionally attracted to men so I thought I was bisexual and I thought I could be with men. But no matter what I can't enjoy sex without thinking of women. He has also been emotionally and psychologically abusive throughout our marriage. He knows that I am attracted to women and he makes a point of using homophobic slurs in front of me. It is to the point that having sex with him makes me physically sick. But we have a daughter now and I'm terrified that my being a lesbian will hurt my chances of custody because I live in Alabama and people are very homophobic here. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be stuck in this marriage, but I don't want to lose my baby.

Comment
 4
View 1 More Comment
cjb25's picture
[1265]
Jan 14

@camio I see your reasoning, but if you ever had a child you would understand. Nothing matters to me more than my daughter. Nothing. I would not want to live without her. I love her far more than my own life. And I will not leave her to be raised by a man I know to be emotionally and psychologically abusive. Plus I know he will force her into a strict, homophobic, misogynistic religion. And I won't allow that either. Thank you for your input. But what you suggest is not possible for me.

Reply
camio's picture
[2760]
Jan 26

Ok, I do understand. I never had a child myself. what could you do at this point? I don't have an answer. But I do know that things often have a way of working themselves out. Just keep the faith, sister, and I hope things will get better for you.

Reply
camio's picture
[2760]
Feb 13

Why don't you take your daughter and whatever money you have, pack some bags and get out? Try a battered women's shelter. That's your best bet, I think. You just have to extricate yourself and your daughter from a bad situation. You will find people there who will help you, and you can find a place to live with your daughter eventually. You can fie for divorce based on his abuse and also get a restraining order in casse he should find out where you are living. Those are my thoughts for now. As I said before, the abusive situation you have now is not a good environment for your daughter, Anything else would be better than that. On second thought, you don't even have to file for divorce. Then you would have legal issues re. your child. But do get yourself and your daughter out of that situation and don't let him know where you are living.

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account