So I'm 17 and my best friend is 19 and i love her. I have fe

[155]

So I'm 17 and my best friend is 19 and i love her. I have felt this way for over a year and a half. She is stragit and has I a boyfriend. They have been together for 2 months.. I had this dream the other day. We had this perfect aperment and this perfect life together and I ruined it. She said she never wanted to marry a guy cause they are all priks. So I asked her if she wanted to marry me and that ended our perfect world. I know it was just a dream but it still worry's me. We have known each other for 3 years and been bff's for adout 2 and a half. We tell each other everything. I'm still in highschool and she's graduated. We both have mental illnesses but we are in a good place right now with that. I'm bisexual and she's aware of that. Should I tell her how I feel or no? I think I told her before but she thought I was joking around. We do everything together but now her boyfriend hangs around with us and I feel left out. She's all cuddley and kisses with him and it makes me want to punch him in the face. I want to like him for her sake but I can't help but remember the last guy. I really want to be with her. Someone please give me some advice

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[1975]
Oct 11

do what the 'average' person would do, although the realm of averageness is vast, indeed. make a decision and stick with it. even if you decide not to decide, it's better than duality. talk to her in an objective manner about your true feelings but realize that she is dynamic outer enviroment and you will not be able to control her reaction, whatever it may be. you cannot control her reaction and behavior, but you CAN control your own actions. do things in part acts. broaden your horizons. you're interested in someone who is not available, and this is a bad habit to get into! go out and meet women who are available via doing volunteering, meetup.com, etc. i don't know where you're located, though. maybe there are some gay groups. be objective and realistic, as opposed to being the romanto-intellectualist. i spot that you have temper towards this girl and her boyfriend. temper is a luxury that you definately cannot afford. excuse them rather than accuse them. there are no rights or wrongs to social or domestic affairs. we are not a bunch of puppets on strings who are supposed to react in accordance to scripts or movements. give the insincere gesture of kindness instead of the sincere gesture of hostility, if only for the sake of your own mental health. avoid temper producing situations. plan, decide, and act based upon being the objective realist. don't act upon obsessions and compulsions. i had a similar situation that was driving me almost to madness. by moving my muscles not to call the person constantly, i was eventually able to see him, say, once a week, without flipping out. do things in part acts, perhaps allowing yourself to contact her once or twice a week for the time being. good luck. i'm here if you need me!

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