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So, I just found this site today and I thought I would give

So, I just found this site today and I thought I would give it a try. Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well today. I'm here because I've never joined a support group before and I figure it's about time I did. I'm a 34yo man who is still relatively in the closet. I've figured out that I was gay when I was about 14, but during that period, I was going through a lot of personal issues and it caused me to put barriers in place and withdraw. I've kept it a secret all these years because I was afraid that if it was known, I would be hurt for it. Because of this, I gained a tremendous amount of weight because I refused to really socialize with others. Over the past 2 years, I've lost 250lbs total (gained back 8....) so I am now around 178lbs. I'm trying to change because I've missed out on so much and I do not want to miss out anymore. I've never been in a physical relationship nor do I have many gay friends (just 2, actually....). I need help/support because I no longer want to be alone anymore. I'd like to meet people, make friends, and just be myself without worry.

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Nov 7

I am so sorry to hear about your fears. The truth is you need to consider maybe the fear is all in your head? My nephew didn't come out until he was 31, but we all knew already and didn't care. We love him just the way he is. My son came out much earlier, but just like my nephew, everybody knew and we accept and love him either way. I must add that neither were feminine in any way, but the signs are there (never a girlfriend, etc). Every city has a gay community. Find where yours is located. You will be pleasantly surprised how easy it is to fit in once you become comfortable in your own skin. Walk with your head high. You sound like an upstanding citizen to me: Smart, healthy, strong (it takes guts and determination to lose so much weight). Your sex preference is only one small part of the person that you are. Leave behind the people that cannot accept that. Not worth your energy. I don't know you but I'm proud you're taking steps to move on and enjoy the life you deserve!

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Nov 9

You're not alone. I've heard stories from many men very similar to this. Its a shame that the world we live in can drive us to hide who we are. But I've found through personal experience and from those of others that the greatest gift you owe yourself is honesty. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. So to accept yourself as who you are IS really half the battle. The other half is positioning yourself in an environment which supports the chances of finding a relationship/ friends. For me that meant moving somewhere else, somewhere big with fresh faces and new experiences. But that's not for everyone and often times impractical. So I would suggest at least to invest in hobbies, societies, groups, anything social that you're interested in and put your best foot forward. Only then, will there be a world of opportunity waiting. Best of luck:)


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