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I am feeling very down today. Have been spending the day wit

Kosie94's picture
[610]

I am feeling very down today. Have been spending the day with my fiancé, yet we didn't spend time with eachother. It is just the PC, whole day. Now after he is done on the PC (after 8 hours) he fell asleep on the coach. I threw hints to him, but just quick senseless reactions. Still feeling so lonely, especially tonight. Now im feeling even more down and the week is only starting tomorrow. What a way to end the weekend. The weekend he had off. Im really getting tired of this and i don't know how long i can still jeep up with this. Things doesn't change, even after we have spoken. So the past 3 weeks im not talking to him about this, for im so tired of having the same situation over and over again. We speak, things get better for a week. But after that things return to this tonight. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to leave him, yet im not happy with him anymore. .

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Kosie94's picture
[610]
Jan 13

Thanx for the caring comment Scat! And yes that is true... But i am on my way to understanding homosexual relationships. It is not the same as heterosexual relationships. I want an emotional and physical connection with my partner, but because he has been hurt so many times in the past, he struggles to trust me and spend more time with me. It's just not fun sitting or lying next to him watching him play a game every single night. Tonight i made us Spegetti bolognaise, i cleaned the house again, had my share of the PC during the day, but it is not as much time as my partner spends on the PC. Tonight im in the mood for watching series or a movie, but cannot on my phone because the battery will run out after 1 eposode... So im lying next to him now, bored as hell... Yet im too tired to have the same talk over and over and over again. Maybe this is just how it will be and stay until our relationship ends. Also i am trying my hardest to stay optimistic about us. Because i actually love him, and wish for more physical attention...

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[329750]
Jan 13

@Kosie94, to me it sounds about the same as any other relationship with its struggles. Dang you sound like a good cook and partner. My daughter went through a similar thing. She loved someone so much. He was more of a homebody that liked computer games and watching TV. She was into hiking and wanted travel and adventure. Because they were high school and college sweethearts she wanted to stay together forever. But once she realized, in her 30s, people in my family die of cancer rather young, she started to feel she did not want to miss out on the things she was giving up to stay with him. However, it doesn't mean you have to depart, depending on whether you're well suited to one another and can compromise and are willing to give and take and whether the other person is all in too. Either way you sound like a good person who will make a good spouse when/whomever you do marry.

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Kosie94's picture
[610]
Jan 13

Aww wow, thanks alot Scat! You're making me blush. I understand what you are saying! And it makes so much sense!
We probably need to talk again... Sigh

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