Newest Blog is out, Support is Necessary!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/support-is-necessary or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

My husband looks at at porn, and I cut myself. My husband is

My husband looks at at porn, and I cut myself. My husband is a good man. He is smart, loving, understanding, and reliable...in all other things. I left my church. It was for him originally, but I had my own story later on where I realized it wasn't true. That was hard. Later I realized he had been looking at porn and that played into his leaving. That was where I went for honesty and comfort. It was something I trusted entirely. But it betrayed and manipulated me. It just took a major event in my life to make me examine the questions I already had. Then I realized it was because of porn. I thought I was enough. I know it's not about me, and if we weren't married he could do what he wanted. I just loved that promise and I want to fulfill him. But I can't seem to do that. I cut myself, then he feels a need to be careful what he says around me. I hurt.

Comment
 12
View 9 More Comments
[120]
Sep 15

@crowningglory19 I like how transparent that is. You choose what you can live with and what you can't. I know that people change because of other people. They change because of themselves. But this makes me feel better. For now at least. I feel like I can wrap my head around everything. Thanks for sharing. I will be sure to pop back in if there's anything later on that I can't process. :)

Reply
[120]
Sep 15

@Alice17 haha people *Don't change because of other people

Reply
[715]
Sep 15

Alice17, have you ever spoken to a person in a physically abusive relationship and wondered why they continue to return to the same relationship? Addiction is just like that - a person married to an alcoholic will swear s/he is never going back to "that drunk" and the next time you talk with him/her that is exactly what they have done. Porn is another drug in a long line of drugs that we humans can become addicted to; as with all addiction, it has to do with the chemicals in the brain and how they react to the drug. I have ignored the addiction in my husband's life for far too long and now it has risen its ugly head - after 38 years of marriage, twenty of it living with the pain of addiction, I have finally given up and left for the final time - I moved over 2000 miles away to stop myself from returning the first (10th, 20th or even 30th) time he apologizes and swears he will never do it again. there is therapy for us - it is call sexual betrayal or sexual trauma and there are specially trained therapists that deal with this. There is also a 12 step program called S-Anon, also for those of us who have survived although not thrived. I never cut myself but I did suffer from chronic pain and guess what? It went away after I left this last time! And yes, I am getting counseling and so is my husband. Will we get back together? I have no idea but I will be well!! I will be praying for you, Alice17.

show more ⇓
Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account