Newest Blog is out, Support is Necessary!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/support-is-necessary or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

I think my father finally got over his middle age crisis. 20

[985]

I think my father finally got over his middle age crisis. 2010 to mid-2018 was hell for me, my family and even himself (I think). But since last year, but specially this year, things have been so good I'm actually scared.
My father, who through out my life was the best, made family life hell in the last 9 years. And I understood his struggles, but he made everyone feel like a burden. I don't even know how my mom and dad didn't get a divorce during that time, but I think it taught me a lesson because now they are doing so well again? Both as a couple and as parents.
It seems like he finally found a balance between his own identity and family, you know? I'm so relieved.

Did anyone here go through something similar?

Comment
 3
Round3's picture
[41275]
Jul 13

I'm sure there are a lot of people who have experienced a similar thing. I mean, the divorce rates are soooo high and the midlife crisis thing happens so often they named it. I'm happy your parents found a way to stay together. Sounds like they worked through their stuff and are trying again. There's likely a bunch of stuff that happened that you don't know about, so maybe don't be so quick to blame your dad for all of it. Or it could be all his fault. There's just no way for you to really know. It's all between your mom and dad.

They're marriage is NOT your responsibility. Have you ever told your dad how you feel about his behavior? You have a right to express yourself and maybe he needs to hear it. You have a voice too.

Reply
[985]
Jul 13

@Round3 It was hard not get too involved, because it wasn't a marriage thing. It was a family thing, but their marriage was intertwined. "their marriage is NOT your responsibility". You are so right and that's something I really struggled with. During the worst years of our crisis, I'd have thoughts of "I wish they'd just divorce", but at the end of the day it's THEIR marriage, so even if our family was in crisis, their marriage was their problem only and also, me, as a daughter shouldn't have a say in that, right? I mean, unless there was abuse involved (which there wasn't).

Reply
Round3's picture
[41275]
Jul 14

Your family will always be your family, regardless of what happens to your parents marriage. Your dad will always be your dad. Your mom will always be your mom. Where they live doesn't change that. Obviously a change in living arrangements will have a significant impact on you and you should have a voice in how what they are doing effects you. I just want you to be really clear that none of their sh*t is your fault and it's not your job to fix it.

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account